A man sees a sign outside a house: 'TALKING DOG FOR SALE'
He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden. The man sees a very nice looking Black Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"Do you really talk?" he asks the dog. "Yes!" The Labrador replies.
After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, he man asks "So, tell me your story!"
The Labrador looks up and says "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I became a spy for the government. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping.
I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years. But all the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I took a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals. got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired!"
The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.
"Ten bucks!" The owner says. "$10? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?" "Because he's a liar. He's never been out of the garden!"
Nice, they must be breading as I found this talking dog
A young jackaroo from outback Queensland goes off to university, but halfway through the semester he has squandered all of his money. He calls home.
'Dad,' he says, 'you won't believe what modern education is developing...they actually have a program here in Brisbane that will teach our dog Ol' Blue how to talk.' 'That's amazing!' his Dad says. 'How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?' 'Just send him down here with $2,000, the young jackaroo says, 'I'll get him in the course.' So his father sends the dog and $2,000. About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. 'So how's Ol' Blue doing, son?' his father wants to know. 'Awesome! Dad, he's talking up a storm... But you just won't believe this. They've had such good results with talking, they've begun to teach the animals how to read.' 'Read?' exclaims his father. 'No kidding! How do we get Ol' Blue in that program?' 'Just send $4,500. I'll get him in the class.' The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. 'Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to talk with him, and see him read something!'
'Dad', the boy says, 'I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal.
Then he suddenly turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still bonking that little redhead barmaid at the pub?'' The father groans and whispers, 'I hope you shot that bastard before he talks to your Mother!' 'I sure did, Dad!' 'That's my boy!'
