A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest,
I almost had an affair with another woman.
What do you mean, almost? the priest said.
Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.
The priest said, Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. Youre not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box....
The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying,
I saw that. You didnt put any money in the poor box!
Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, thats the same as putting it in.