Now I usually look around the room at the party & knowing that they are all as old as me, it gives me a satisfied feeling to see that most of  them are as bad as me or worse. Plus (at 75.) there's not too many of them can brag about how many hours a day they spend in the Gym. Hey, and the ones that do only go there for a coffee & companionship with the other oldies who do the same. But, in reality, since I had a pacemaker/defibulator fitted about three years ago, I was 110 kg before & without even trying I am now down to 85 kg. I just lost my appetite. Cost me a new wardrobe though. 

Now that reminds me of big fat Eddie, a splosh of a guy who looked absolutely repulsive, his gut swayed back & forth as he walked & he had to have his clothes made to fit coz he would have done it cheaper buying a tent. Well, Sam this new Dietition came into town, and he was a blast for sure. He knew every scientific way to loose weight plus a lot more that he had developed himself. He was the hit of the town. Everyone was talking about how easy he made it seem to loose 10, 15, 30 or even 50 kg in no time at all, no side effects, just loose it mate. Well big fat Eddie went to see him, he waddled in and sploshed himself on a couch. Sam looked him over for a while, tested his heart to make sure that his sure fire weight loss program would not kill him. Well, all was fine, so he set big fat Eddie the "Weight Looser of The Month" diet which was what Eddie wanted. He didn't want to loose it slowly, he wanted action & fast. Well Big Eddie hid himself away from the locals and stuck to the diet & medication with a purpose of determination. Well, the weight just fell off of Big Eddie, within the month Eddie was down to under 100 kg, the next month he was down to 80. Now Sam stopped him there coz he would become too lean for his frame.There was only one big problem, Big Eddie had all this loose skin hanging on him like a huge blimp. he said to Sam, "What do I do with all this loose skin? Sam said, "No problem mate, drop off all your cloths & I'll  show you." So Eddie dropped off all his clothes & was standing there buck naked, & Sam started at Eddie's ankles and ran his cupped hands up Eddie's legs with really tight cupped hands which made Eddie's skin tighten up all up his legs. Sam continued doing this right up to the top of Eddie's head. Now he had this big flap of loose skin waving around above Eddie's head. Eddie said, "What are we going to do with that??" Sam said, "Easy Eddie, we tie a knot in it, put a big hat over it & within two weeks it will dry up & fall off." Well Eddie was OK with that, he went out & bought himself a new outfit & the townsfolk hardly knew him. Fred the local butcher saw Eddie and was astounded that it was actually Eddie that he was talking to. Eddie was telling Fred all about the procedure. Fred was very interested and asked Eddie what the funny dimple was in the middle of his forehead. "Oh, " said Eddie, "That's my naval." Fred looked at it for a  while then commented, "Hey Eddie, I love your jazzy new neck tie."