Should have got an A+

Woody n Sue · Guru

Should have got an A+

Tony Bev · Guru

Tongue in cheek

Not quite an A, but we will let it go through

Napoleon did not die in battle, unless it was the unreported battle of the wallpaper

Back in the day, they used arsenic in wallpaper for the colour green

Napoleon liked green, and plenty of it, he died from arsenic poisoning

Woody n Sue · Guru

Well il be darned never knew that so ok down grade that to an A

So was he a " Greenie "

Woody

Tony Bev · Guru

Tongue in cheek

Not a modern day "Greenie", Woody

But...

He was probably the original "Greenie of the wallpaper world", as he liked wallpaper, and Green was his favourite colour

But if he knew then, what we know now, he would have probably sent every green wallpaper maker to the guillotine

jebs · Veteran Member

Here's a story of how he died.....if the link works

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/3324879/Napoleon-didnt-die-from-arsenic-poisoning.html

Tony Bev · Guru

Egg all over my face again, but at least today I lasted until afternoon smoko time, so I am improving, LOL

I will now revise my post

Up until 6:00PM GMT 11 Feb 2008, according to The Telegraph

The consensus was that Napoleon died of arsenic poisoning due to the fact that he had 10 PPM of arsenic in his hair, while modern man only has one tenth of 1 PPM

But...

Back in the day, that was an acceptable level

The consensus now is that Napoleon died of stomach cancer

Therefore...

I give the student an A+ for his answers, as Napoleon did indeed die fighting his last battle

Woody n Sue · Guru

We'll blow my sox off fancy that who would have thought that a joke would end up as a history lesson, a subject that did not tickle my fancy in the least at school, perhaps we have just discovered a way to make history more interesting .

Woody

iana · Guru

The story of the little corporal is an interesting read. He was born on the island of Corsica, his father was a rebel fighting against the French. All sorts of interesting details are about this little man.

Heather42 · Veteran Member

A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing the following elements:

1. Religion
2. Royalty
3. Sex
4. Mystery

The prize-winning essay read:

'My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it!"

Tony Bev · Guru

Hello Heather42

That certainly got a chuckle out of me

Tony Bev · Guru

Getting back on track about our student and his A+ pass mark, who was correct about Napoleon
There has been a lot of misinformation about Napoleon over the years, the poor old bloke has probably been blamed for a lot of stuff he never did
He has also been the butt of many jokes

The latest (unconfirmed) report was during the reign of the TV show Sale of the Century

A bloke from the bush had written in with a complaint.
He claimed that as it was for Australian audiences, they should only ask questions concerning local and not overseas general knowledge

As this was the first complaint the show had ever received, they invited him into the studio

The bloke from the bush, looked very authentic, with his white moleskin trousers, and corks hanging from his hat, they decided to see if he was good enough to be a contestant
They decided to ask him three general knowledge questions

Q. Name two days of the week beginning with the letter T
A. Today and tomorrow
Q. Name two animals beginning with the letter L, which are in the Sydney zoo
A. Two lions
Q. What was the name of the famous French General, who nearly conquered Europe
A. There yers go, you ruddy mongrels. How do you expect a bloke from the bush to know what them ruddy foreigners get up to

They realised that if their hand had been forced, while asking those questions on air, question one, and two, would have been technically correct.
Question three as it was not considered an Australian general knowledge question, was then debatable if the contestant, had to answer it

The producers were unsure if the bloke from the bush was taking the Mickey, had been sent in by a rival TV studio, or was genuinely not interested about world affairs

The decided to find out

They set up a fridge with a bottle of Napoleon Brandy inside, and a chair nearby.
There was nothing else in the room, except a large one way mirror

They invited the bloke from the bush to go into the room, have a good look around, and see if there was anything, which would help him to answer question three
They observed him sitting on the chair, and glancing at the fridge several times.
Eventually he opened the fridge, spotted the brandy, and started drinking it
After drinking the brandy he staggered out to give his answer

I know the name of that ruddy foreign General

His name is

General Electric

Baggie · Senior Member

Well, seeing that this has turned into a history lesson with Napoleon being the leading character, I bet you did not know that he & Lord Nelson were on speaking terms & sometimes had a coffee together.
Now here they were over a coffee, discussing the shortfalls of each other's war tactics.
Napoleon started on Nelson, "You English, you have no idea how to engage in battle! First off, you wear those stupid red jackets that can be seen for kilometres away. We can shoot them off like starlings in a wire. Why would you expose your leading men to such a fate? Only an idiot would do such a thing."

Now Nelson was very quick to the defence of the British commanders uniform. He said, " Now listen here old chap! There is great history behind the reason for those red jackets and every commander of any battalion will proudly wear their red jacket to lead his men into the charge of battle. You see my old learned friend, the reason that it is red is so that if that brave leader happens to get shot while leading his men into battle, they will not see the blood and therefore not loose confidence and continue into the fray towards victory.

Now Napoleon thought about this over the next few weeks and saw merit in what Nelson had said. And that is why to this very day that all the commanders of any French forces always wear brown trousers.