These are oldies but goodies. They are real extracts from actual complaint letters sent to various councils and housing associations throughout the UK.

1.  I want some repairs done to my cooker as it backfired and burnt my knob off.

2.  I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

3.  ....... and their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my back fence.

4.  I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

5.  My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand.

6.  Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. We are getting married in September

     and we would like it in the garden before we move into the house.

7.  I  request permission to remove my draws in the kitchen.

8.  I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers

9.  The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

10. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

11. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

-- Edited by Baggie on Thursday 26th of May 2016 03:54:58 PM