Three beautiful red roses by her hospital pillow....<not really risqué>

A young Lady goes to her Doctor and confides she wants an 'operation' because she feels her vagina lips are toooooo large.

She respectively asks her Doctor to keep her 'operation' a secret, as she's embarrassed and doesn't want anyone to find out.

Her Doctor agrees.........

She wakes up from her 'operation' and finds three beautiful divine smelling red roses placed beside her pillow.

Outraged, she immediately calls in her Doctor as she was well aware she had told no-one, and says:

"Doctor, I'm mortified and embarrassed as I specifically asked you not to tell anyone about my operation...did I not?

"Don't worry" he says "I didn't tell anyone....the first rose is from me, I felt rather bad because you went through this 'operation' all by yourself.

The second rose is from my Nurse. She assisted me throughout your 'operation' and she can relate to your anxiety because she has had a similar operation herself."

"SO WHO THE HELL SENT THIS THIRD RED ROSE?"...SHE DEMANDED.

"Oh", says her Doctor, "that rose is in greatful appreciation from a chap upstairs in our Burns Unit"..........

".....he is simply thanking you for his new set of ears!"...........................................

Confessional Box:

An Irish bloke goes into the Confessional Box after years being away from the Catholic Church.

He pulls aside the curtain, enters, and sits himself down.

There's a fully equipped bar with fine crystal cut glasses,

the very best vestry wine, Guiness on tap, cigars and liquor bottles,

chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid a few of their garments.

He hears a Priest come in: "Forgive me Father for its been a very long time since I've been to Confession,

and I must admit that the Confessional Box is much more inviting than I remember it to be"...

The Priest replies,

"Get out,..you idiot!...You're on my side!!".....

EXCERPT FROM DUBLIN TIMES...VANILLA PUDDING ROBBERY.

Excerpt from an article which appeared in 'The Dublin Times' concerning a Bank Robbery on December 2nd last...

Subtitled 'THE VANILLA PUDDING ROBBERY'.

....Once inside the Bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately.

The robbers who expected to find one or two large safe's filled with cash and valuables were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safe's throughout the Bank.

The robbers cracked the first safe's combination and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding.

As recorded on the Bank's audio tape security system, one robber said: "Well lads at least we'll have a bit to eat".....

The robbers opened up a second safe and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding.

The process continued until all safe's were opened.

They did not find one pound Sterling, a diamond, or even an ounce of gold.

Instead all the safe's contained bowls of pudding.

Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy ,uncomfortably full stomach.

The Newspaper headline read:

'IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING'.

Hoo Roo