<Singing>.....When you're down by the sea, and an eel bites your knee....Thattt's a Moray.

Pharmacist to customer:

"Sir, please understand, to buy anti depressant tablets, you really need a proper prescription....

Simply showing me your Marriage Certificate and a photo of your wife, is not enough!".....

Ladies, If you want men to look at your face and not your chest.....eat a banana!

A wise person once said:

1. We all love to spend money buying new clothes, but we never realize that some of the best moments in life are enjoyed without them.

2. Having a cold drink on a hot day with a few friends is nice, however having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks- PRICELESS.

3. Arguing over a gal's bust size is like choosing between Carlton Draught, XXXX Bitter, or Coopers' Pale Ale.

Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available....

4. I havn't verified this on Snopes, but it sounds legit.  A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight, tend to live longer than the men who mention it......

5. Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore....A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the women's husband....

The wonderful Church and Synagogue Bulletins: recent actual announcements:-

The Fasting and Prayer conference includes a meal.

Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to Cripple Children.

Don't let worry kill you off....let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again' giving obvious pleasure to the Congregation.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the Church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall....Music will follow...

At the evening Service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What is Hell?'...Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

The Sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water'.

The Sermon tonight:' Searching for Jesus'....

Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the Church Choir....They need all the help they can get.

Hoo Roo