Question - are there too many immigrants in Britain?
17% said yes; 11% said No;
72% said "I am not understanding the question please."
 
Prince Harry says he doesn't want the usual fruit cake at his wedding.
Prince Phillip says he doesn't give a toss; he's still going.

 

 

 

 

 

Just £3 will buy water and food for a family in Africa. But don't let your heart rule your head. Morrison's are doing 4 Stellas for £2-99.

 

 

 

 

 

100 people from Liverpool were asked today if they thought Britain should change its currency.  98% said  No, They were happy with the Giro.

 

 

 

 

 

Bloke comes home to his son sitting on the couch, grinning from ear to ear. "What are you so happy about?" he asked.
"I just made love to the girl next door" he says proudly.
"Well done son. I hope you were wearing something."
"Yup" he replied. "A balaclava."

 

 

 

 

 

Paddy bursts into the Benefits office. I've been ringing 0800 1730 for 2 bloody days. Why don't you answer the bloody phone.
Girl replies, those are our opening and closing times.