God: done? Noah: yeah!  G: whats this?  Noah proudly: a swing set. G: you built a park. I asked for an ark.  N: a what? G: a boat.  N: say boat then.

GOD: How many more animals left to make?  - ANGEL: 2  - GOD: And how many more legs do we have? -  ANGEL: 100  - CENTIPEDE: dibs!  - SNAKE: *******

"drink my blood" that's wine dude "eat my flesh". Um you're weirding me out god" this is the worst going away party ever.

When I have my exit interview with God as I'm expelled from Heaven, I'm totally not holding back when I tell Him my feelings on allergies.

And on the seventh day God look on that which he had created and he said unto it:

"F**k it, send."

God said to Noah "Build me an ark", then He slipped and His big papier-mâché head fell off, and Noah saw He was Dave, who wanted a free boat

*Jesus excitedly runs home from school* "dad, dad! I made the football team" *God peers over his newspaper* "well I made EVERYTHING"

Artichokes, pomegranates, and Butternut squash were all created for God's hidden camera prank show, "Good Luck Eating That."

I'll bet when Godzilla first came out, God was like "Damn, that name's way cooler."