A woman goes to her Doctor in Glasgow, worried about her husband's temper, belligerence and threatening manner.

The Doctor asks: "What's the problem Janet?"

The woman replies:

"Weeell Doctor Cameron, I dinae know what to do. Every time ma hubbie Sandy comes home drunk, he threatens to slap me aroon."

The Doctor says " Aye well Janet, that is completely unacceptable behaviour but I have a real good cure for that.

When your husband arrives home intoxicated, just take a wee glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth....

Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he goes to bed and is sound asleep."

Two weeks later she returns to her Doctor looking fresh and reborn.

She says:"doctor that was brilliant!! Evrae time ma hubbie came home drunk, I swished with water.

I swished an' swished and he didnae attempt to touch me once!"

"Tell me Doctor, wha's the secret?"..How's the water do that?"

The Doctor says: "Janet m'dear it's really nae big secret.

The water does buggger all - it's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick."......

Hoo Roo.