When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship...
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings..
The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.
Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, "No, but I do fart a lot."
P.S. I know some of you are not over 60. I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are. I figured your sense of humor could handle it.
We senior citizens don't need any more gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.
Did you hear that U-Tube, Twitter and Facebook have all been bought by the one company, who will combine them into a single app ..... the new name ....
U-TwitFace !!!
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Wondering about ShortNorth ? - Short North is the railwayman's nickname for the NSWGR main line between Sydney and Newcastle
Nice to know I am not the only one who thinks facebook, twitter, texting etc gets a little too much. What happened to the days that people rang you (on a phone) and would ring back if you did not answer? Now they ring, leave a message if you do nor answer, then text to say they left you a message and then get all twisted when you don't contact them immediately. Ye gods, is the world going to stop rotating just because I did not instantly respond?
As for GPS... I love my GPS, but... I cannot understand why my dear wife insists on contradicting every direction Jane (lady inside the box) gives me. Is it because I am taking direction from another woman, or that the other woman actually knows the best way to go and does not criticise my driving? Maybe the GPS builders can add features which can be turned on, like "passengers are requested to sit down, belt up and stop contradicting my directions...please". No joke. One of these days I am going to record the wife arguing with the GPS (yes arguing) and share it around just for a laugh. At least the navigator does not argue back... thank goodness for small mercies.
