A REDNECK FROM GEORGIA DECIDES TO TRAVEL ACROSS THE SOUTH  TO VIRGINIA  TO SEE GOD'S COUNTRY. WHENHE GETS TO FRANKLIN , HE LIKES  THE PLACE SO  MUCH THAT HE DECIDES TO STAY. BUT FIRST HE MUST FIND A  JOB!!!!

HE WALKS INTO THE INTERNATIONAL PAPER COMPANY OFFICE AND  FILLS OUT AN APPLICATION AS AN II EXPERIENCED LOG INSPECTOR. IT'S HIS  LUCKY  DAY!!!THEY  JUST HAPPEN TO BE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE, BUT FIRST,  THE LOG FOREMAN  TAKES HIM FOR A RIDE INTO THE FOREST IN THE COMPANY  PICKUP TRUCK TO  SEE HOW MUCH HE KNOWS.

THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND  POINTS AT A  TREE "SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE? I WANT YOU TO TELL ME  WHAT SPECIES IT IS AND HOW  MANY BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IT CONTAINS."

THE REDNECK PROMPTLY ANSWERS, "THAT THAR'S A WHITEPINE,  383 BOARD FEET  OF LUMBER IN  'ER."

THE FOREMAN IS IMPRESSED!!! HE PUTS  ABOUT A MILE DOWN THE ROAD. HE POINTS AT ANOTHER TREE THROUGH THE  PASSENGER WINDOW AND ASKS THE SAME QUESTION. THIS TIME,  IT'SA BIGGER  TREE OF A DIFFERENT CLASS.

"THAT'S A LOBLOLLY PINE AND SHE'S GOT ABOUT 456 CLEAR  BOARD  FEET."

THE FOREMAN IS REALLY IMPRESSED WITH THE GOOD OL' BOY, HE  HAS BEEN  QUICK AND GOT THE ANSWERS RIGHT WITHOUT USING A  CALCULATOR!!!!

ONE MORE TEST. THEY DRIVE A LITTLE FURTHER DOWN THE  ROAD,  AND THE FOREMAN STOPS AGAIN. THIS TIME, HE POINTS ACROSS THE  ROAD THROUGH HIS  DRIVER SIDE WINDOW AND SAYS, "AND WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE?"

BEFORE THE FOREMAN FINISHES  POINTING, THE REDNECK SAYS,  "WHITE OAK,  242 BOARD FEET AT BEST."

THE FOREMAN SPINS THE TRUCK AROUND  AND HEADS BACK TO THE  OFFICE A  LITTLE TICKED OFF BECAUSE HE THINKS THE RED NECK IS  SMARTER THAN HE  IS. AS THEY NEAR THE OFFICE, ANOTHER FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK  AND ASKS  BUBBA TO STEP  OUTSIDE.HE HANDS HIM A PIECE OF CHALK AND TELLS HIM, "SEE THATTREE OVER THERE?" "I WANT YOU TO MARK AN "X"ON THE FRONT OF THAT TREE!!"

THE FOREMAN THINKS TO HIMSELF, "IDIOT, HOW WOULD HE KNOW  WHICH IS THE  FRONT OF THE TREE?"

BUBBA REACHES THE TREE, HE  GOES AROUND IT IN A  CIRCLE WHILE  LOOKING AT THE GROUND. HE THEN REACHES UP AND PLACES A  WHITE X ON THE  TRUNK. WALKS BACK TO THE FOREMAN AND HANDS HIM THE CHALK. "THAT THAR'S  THE  FRONT," THE REDNECK SAYS.

THE FOREMAN LAUGHS TO HIMSELF AND  ASKS SARCASTICALLY,  "HOW IN THE HELL  DO YOU KNOW THAT'S THE FRONT OF THE TREE?"
 
THE GOOD OL' BOY LOOKS DOWN AT HIS FEET, WHILE RUBBING THE TOE OF HIS  LEFT BOOT CLEANING IT IN THE GRAVEL AND REPLIES, "CUZ  SOMEBODY TOOK A  SH$T BEHIND IT!"

HE GOT THE JOB.