1. Please don't talk to my breasts. You won't be meeting them. 

2. If you want to control someone, sleep with your remote. 

3. I always choose chocolate over men. ALWAYS 

4. 51% love goddess...49% bitch. Care to push your luck? 

5. My sexual preference is NO 

6. My body is my temple, now get on your knees and pray. 

7. It's not the size that counts, it's...no, wait, size does count. 

8. Remember men, girls are made of sugar, spice and everything nice. 

9. Men are like hardwood floors, lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them forever. 

10. Save your breath for your inflatable date.