God visited a man and told him he must give up smoking, drinking and sex if he wants to get into heaven.

The man said he would try his best.

God visited the man a week later to see how he was getting on.

"Not bad" said the man, "I've given up smoking and drinking but when the wife bent over the lounge suite and I caught sight of her long slender legs, I pulled her skirt up, pulled her knickers to one side and made love to her right then and there. ".

"We don't like that in heaven", said God....

The man replied: "They're not too happy about it in Harvey Norman either!"