You know you're in a Perth summer when:

1. The best parking space is determined by shade instead of distance.

2. Hot water comes out of both taps.

3. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

4. The temperature drops below 35c and you feel a little chilly.

5. You discover that in February it only takes two fingers to steer your car.

6. You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

7. You develop a fear of metal car door handles.

8. You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30am.

9. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

10. You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

11. Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to prevent them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

12. The cows are giving evaporated milk.

13. The trees are whistling for the dogs.

14. While walking back barefoot to your car from the beach, you do a tightrope act on the white lines in the car park.

15. You catch a cold from having the aircon full blast while you sleep during the night.

16. You pray that your train will have air-conditioning, and if it doesn't. Waiting an extra 15 minutes for one is worth it.