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chaslib


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Humour for smarties ....
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Enjoy ....

 
Humour for smart people ...

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational 
once again invited readers to take any word 
from the dictionary, alter it by adding,  
subtracting, or changing one letter, 
and supply a new definition.



Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, 
    which renders the subject financially impotent 
    for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an *******.
 
3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts 
    until you realise it was your money to start with.
 
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
 
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people 
    that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, 
    unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down 
    in the near future. 

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself 
    for the purpose of getting laid. 
 
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high 
 
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit 
    and the person who doesn't get it.
 
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when 
    you are running late.
 
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. 
      (This one got extra credit.)
 
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending 
      off all these really bad vibes, right? 
      And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, 
      a serious bummer. 
 
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through 
      the day consuming only things that are good for you.
 
13. Glibido: All talk and no action. 
 
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem 
      smarter when they come at you rapidly. 
 
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just
      after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
 
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, 
      that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning 
      and cannot be cast out.
 
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding 
     half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

 
The Washington Post has also published 
the winning submissions to its yearly contest, 
in which readers are asked to supply 
alternate meanings for common words.
 
And the winners are:   

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs. 
 
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering 
    how much weight one has gained. 
 
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having 
    a flat stomach.
 
4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
 
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent. 
 
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door 
    when wearing only a nightgown.
 
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
 
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
 
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up 
    someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
 
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
 
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam. 
 
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted 
      by proctologists. 
   
13. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, 
      the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.



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The Maccas ....

2013 Avida Esperance Motorhome - based in northern NSW.

 
GaryKelly


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 2884
Date:
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Clever stuff and witty!

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Gary

Ford Courier with Freeway slide-on called "PJ". www.aussieodyssey.com
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