Licentia, a slave call girl from Sardinia, was attending a great but as yet unnamed athletic competition and weeklong festival 2500 years ago in Greece.

In those days, believe it or not, the well conditioned athletes performed naked.  Accordingly, in order to control unwanted arousal while competing, the men copiously imbibed on drink containing saltpetre before and throughout the events.

During the opening ceremonial parade, Licentia, as well as the Vestal Virgins, observed the first wave of naked magnificent males marching toward Licentia and the other understandably very excited ladies, but soon a wailing chant arose: "Oh limp pr*cks!" "Oh limp pr*cks!" "Oh limp pr*cks!"

And over the next two and a half millennia that phrase morphed into "Olympics"