Subject: SCOTTISH GOLF CLUB MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION

An elderly Scottish Jew has decided to take it a little easier and take up golf, so he puts his name down at the local club. After a week he receives a message that his application has been turned down. So he goes down to the club to inquire why.


Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club?

Scot: Aye but I am as Scottish as you are, Jock.

Secretary: This means that on formal occasions we wear kilts.

Scot: Aye, so do I.

Secretary: You are aware that we wear nothing under our kilts?


Scot: Aye, neither do I.

Secretary: But you are a Jew?

Scot: Aye, I be that.

Secretary: So you are circumcised?


Scot: Aye, I be that too.

Secretary: I am terribly sorry, but the members just would not feel comfortable with that.

Scot: Ach, away with ya, man. I know that you have to be a Protestant to march with the Orangemen. And I know that you have to be a Catholic to become a Knight of Saint Columbus. But this is the first time I heard that you have to be a complete prick to join a golf club.