.> WHO IS JACK SCHITT? > > For some time you may have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? You find > yourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' > > Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an > intellectual way. > > Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. > > Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of > Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. > > In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple > produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, > and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. > > Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a > high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt > divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were > living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known > as Noe Schitt Sherlock. > > Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son > with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six > children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout > childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. > The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens > nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse. > > Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world He recently > returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. > > NOW when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct > them. > > Sincerely, > > Crock O. Schitt > > > NOTE: PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS A LAUGH. > > REMEMBER: LAUGHING LOWERS THE BLOOD PRESSURE