I'd met a sweet man and fell in love. When it became

apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up

Baked Beans.

Some months later, and as it happens on my birthday,

my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the

countryside..I had no choice but to call home and leave a message on

our machine to say that I would be late because I had to walk home. On

my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was

more than I could stand. With more than a mile still to walk, I

figured that I would walk off any ill effects of the Beans, so I

stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed a large

order of Baked Beans on Toast.

All the way home, I made and released gas.

Upon my arrival, my most concerned husband said how

sorry he was I'd walked such a long way but he said 'Darling I have a

surprise for dinner tonight!'

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the

dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my

blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the

blindfold until he returned and went to answer the phone.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me

and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was

out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight and let

one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck

running over a skunk. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air

around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off again

in total three more. The stink was bad like cooked cabbage!!!

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in

the other room, when eventually the telephone farewells signaled the

end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my

napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling

very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when

my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I

had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve

dinner guests seated around the table chorused: 'Happy Birthday!'

I fainted!!