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Post Info TOPIC: Dogs Letter To God
Vic


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 2454
Date:
Dogs Letter To God


 GOD - FROM: "THE DOG's"

 

Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch?
Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the

Mustang, the colt, the stingray and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog?

How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride!

Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?

Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,

Whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.


P. S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?



__________________

Vic

Hi Ace Pop Top Campervan & A'Van A'Lite Camper Trailer.....

Khalil Gibran says "We tarry forward - not backward".

Spread the laughter
Share the cheer
Let's be happy
While we're here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 2238
Date:

Vic wrote:

 GOD - FROM: "THE DOG's"

..............................................

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.


P. S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?


 Dear God,

When did my boy learn to write?

Rosie



__________________

Rosie

Vic


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 2454
Date:

Rip and Rosie wrote:

 

..............................................

.


 


 Dear God,

When did my boy learn to write?

Rosie


 He communicated with God in Doggie Language Rosie.....God wrote it down for him for us to read wink biggrin



__________________

Vic

Hi Ace Pop Top Campervan & A'Van A'Lite Camper Trailer.....

Khalil Gibran says "We tarry forward - not backward".

Spread the laughter
Share the cheer
Let's be happy
While we're here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 937
Date:

Any ideas on how to translate back to uninitiated dogs - my two engage in most of those activities.......

__________________

Rarin' to go



Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 2238
Date:

I asked God and she said no, just keep cleaning
Rosie

__________________

Rosie

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