JACK AND JILL

Jack was about to marry Jill and his father took him to one side 'When

I married your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was

take off my trousers,' he said. 'I gave them to your mother and told

her to put them on. When she did, they were enormous on her and she

said to me that she couldn't possibly wear them, as they were too

large. 'I told her, 'of course they're too big. I wear the trousers in

this family and I always will.' Ever since that day, we have never

had a single problem.'

Jack took his father's advice and as soon as he got

Jill alone after the wedding, he did the same thing; took off his

trousers, gave them to Jill and told her to put them on. Jill said

that the trousers were too big and she couldn't possibly wear them.

'Exactly,' replied Jack. 'I wear the trousers in this relationship

and I always will. I don't want you to forget that.' Jill paused and

removed her knickers and gave them to Jack. 'Try these on,' she said,

so he tried them on but they were too small. 'I can't possibly get

into your knickers,' said Jack. 'Exactly,' replied Jill. 'And if you

don't change your attitude, you never will.'