re Happy Wanderer

jules47 · The Happy Helper

re Happy Wanderer

Happywanderer · The Master

I'm still here. She's till going. Daughter goes to Bendigo tomorrow for app with obs and ctg monitor on baby. Perhaps they will maker a decision tomorrow.
Its been a rough day, I've had an upset tummy for a couple of days. Then today get 5 or 6 calls from my son in Biggenden, very distraught. His partner has left him taking the kids. Too detailed to go into except to say he's the one who had the logging truck accident, left with multiple injuries including brain injury. His payout is all gone, now she goes. Ask yourself.
I have to try and keep his head straight as he deals with this., Not easy.

jules47 · The Happy Helper

Oh, poor you, and what bad timing with the daughter so close to giving birth. And the ex's timing is very suss as well - stay calm, breath deeply - pm any time you need to chat - take care. -

Happywanderer · The Master

I won't be telling pregnant daughter about son till after she has had the baby. I don't think she needs any more stress at the moment.
My older son went through similiar only a few months back, only he paid the partner out then lost his job. Still struggling to find one to pay his mortgage. He's 42. The one today, he's 39.

Travel Bug · Guru

Oh Marj...poor you!! So very sorry for your predicament.

No matter what age they are...your kids are always your kids, aren't they!!!

Don't quite know how to help, other than to say...
If you need to talk...anytime at all...you have my number or you can PM.

Take care.

Esmeralda · Guru

Just what you don't need!! I hope she doesn't just disappear with the kids, they need their father and they need you.

It is hard when you have children you worry about them all the time. My daughter is a single parent with 4 children and has been unemployed a couple of times and has found it hard to get work and I have had to help out a bit but then again I had a good job and earnt good money, so it wasn't too much of a problem. She now has a good job which she loves and they love her and the kids are, apart from one, not financially dependent on her.

ChiChi1 · Guru

Marj, It always comes on all at once.

Thankfully not really my kids, although we had a scare with my daughter and heart trouble and now my SIL has gall bladder trouble and will be in hospital for op while I'm away at uncle's funeral.

I really should be in Yarrawonga dealing with my late brother's stuff but my mother's needs here in Canberra have delayed me a bit.

Ha!! and I had thoughts of retiring and sailing off into the wild blue yonder.

All I can say is so sorry and it will all sort itself out eventually.

lilly31 · Guru

Marj news which you dont need at this time ... It hard you are trying to be there for your daughter and i say you want to go to your son as well ...Can he come down to you till all is sorted with your daughter and the baby ..Maybe that would be good soultion for all at this stage ..
Even when kids are aduts they still need there mum and dad from time to time

Happywanderer · The Master

Esmerelda, she's just as likely to, she did when the first one was little, didn't see her for years.
lilly, thats not possible, he has just bought them a house to be a family, he's not letting it out of his sight. All his treatments from his accident are now up in Qld as well.
Thanks guys.
hopefully some good news in the next day or so.

Happywanderer · The Master

I might have to go up there earlier to give him some support. Earlier than next winter I mean.

Travel Bug · Guru

Marj, you have to do whatever you feel in your heart is right for you at this time.

Esmeralda · Guru

If he's bought a house - make sure she doesn't go after that - it would really compound the pain.

-- Edited by Esmeralda on Monday 29th of August 2011 08:48:36 PM

Happywanderer · The Master

Really suss she wants out now all his payout money is gone. The poor bugger.

jules47 · The Happy Helper

Straight to solicitor for advice is the go -

Travel Bug · Guru

jules47 wrote:

Straight to solicitor for advice is the go -
____________________________________________________________________

Too right Jules...great advice....

milo · Guru

and make sure the house is his name, not both or hers...

-- Edited by milo on Monday 29th of August 2011 09:32:55 PM

ChiChi1 · Guru

Won't make much difference Milo. Can still claim a percentage. Uncle found that out. Woman stayed with him for 2yrs and then up and left. She claimed an got a large enough % he had to sell the farm. (Didn't have the cash and could'nt raise it (Retired) to pay her out.)

-- Edited by ChiChi1 on Monday 29th of August 2011 10:11:08 PM

milo · Guru

hmmm bummer

Happywanderer · The Master

The house is in his name. She only moved in with him a few months ago. Long story but even though they have two children they've never been together. Too long to explain.
Looks like I will have to head up there as soon as possible, when bubs is born, I get the 1st service done on Myrtle, then have an ear specialist appointment 7th Sept. then will hopefully head up straight after. He's very fragile. Fingers crossed I can keep him steady by phone for now.
Thankfully S.in.l. is taking maternity leave when bubs in born so will be there for daughter while I'm away. Looks like lots of trips back and forth to Qld on the cards.

Travel Bug · Guru

Fingers duly crossed for you Marj....

jules47 · The Happy Helper

Contact if you need any help Marj - take care.

sucastja · Senior Member

Take care Marj - kids are a constant worry, even when they're grown up. It's a good thing they provide much joy also otherwise why would you have them? xoxoxo

Happywanderer · The Master

Been talking to him this morning. He doesn't want me to come up, as long as I'm on the other end of the phone so he's got someone to talk to. We've sorted out his budget and he knows how much he needs to keep for the ongoing costs.
He's cooled down a bit and was going out to mow the lawns, then go and see a mate.
She won't be back in town till Thursday with the kids as gone into Bundaberg to take her mother to a Brisbane doctors app tomorrow. He now knows where the kids are and that they are safe which was his big worry.
I've just got to keep him calm or she won't let him have contact with the kids.
At this stage will see how things go.
Daughter at app in Bendigo at the moment, just waiting to hear from her.
What a day. Off to clean my windows to use up some adrenalin.

jules47 · The Happy Helper

That's good Marj - it is hard wanting to be with them when they are in trouble - but as long as he knows you are there for him, and he has some mates, he should be fine.
As you say - he needs to keep calm or she will restrict access - which is what happened to my son - he used to be very fiery (especially with his ex) - and she used that against him, saying she didn't feel the daughter would be safe with him. He has never so much as smacked her on the hand in her life - he doesn't believe in it - it is just the ex's way of control - and of course I can't see grandaughter either, because "you gave birth to him" - her words!!

Hope all is well with your daughter, I am sure it will be.

We have had dry and dusty here for quite a while, now it has rained, and the outside of my place needs a good cleaning down - might go out with the broom next time it rains, sounds like a good idea to me, anyway - have a good day.

Happywanderer · The Master

Daughter just rang. all good. She's booked in for an ultrasound for Thursday, depending on the size of the baby they will keep her there, and start the process.
If size is not a concern they have booked her in for 3pm Sunday to start the process. She's a lot happier now they have a plan.

Jules, thats exactly right, and as I got through to him, he needs to keep calm and cool for all those reasons.

jules47 · The Happy Helper

Good news Marj! smile smile

Travel Bug · Guru

Pleased that things appear to be looking up a bit in both directions Marj.

p.s. You wouldn't be cleaning windows if you were here...it's raining again!

nu one · Senior Member

Marj ..there is a whole army of suport for you out there so lean on us ..the load will be easier with our help
remember tomorrow the sun will rise and it will be better..good luck.

HeadnHome · Senior Member

Hope all continues to go ok with both your son and daughter Marj, alot of stress for you so don't forget to look after yourself as well.

Beth54 · Guru

Gee, I've just found your thread Marj. What a trial you're having! I feel for your son too, poor begger.

There seems to be one of these stories in most of our lives.

In my case, my daughter was the one to suffer. Long story short, her ex stole their son and it took 6 months to get him back. It was a stressful time for all of us.

Just remember to breath Marj. Three long slow breaths is great for calming the nerves.