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Post Info TOPIC: One-liners To Make You Smile
Cruising Granny


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One-liners To Make You Smile
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My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that 2:30am?!
Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes or I would have been really mad.

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner.
Talk about Dyson with death.

I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl. I kept thinking to myself, Please don't get an erection. Pease don't get an erection...
I didnt, but she did.

Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador.
Bugger that," says Mick. "Have you seen how many of their owners go blind"

Man calls 999 and says, "I think my wife is dead"
The operator says, How do you know?
He says, "The sex is the same but the ironing is building up!

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest p*nis she had ever laid her hands on.
I said, "You're pulling my leg."

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor.
She only had $1.20 in her purse.

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker.
Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed.
At first I was afraid.......then I was petrified.

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst.
So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.


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20ft Roma caravan - Mercedes Benz Sprinter - SA-based at the moment.
Transport has no borders.

Management makes the decisions, but is not affected by the decisions it makes.
gubby


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clap.gif clap.gif clap.gif clap.gif



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Life is too important to be taken seriously!!!
Travel Bug


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Good ones Chris!!!!

   

 



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 Cheers. Pam.

Safe and happy travels everyone.

 
goinsoon


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If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it!

 
 

 

 

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate!

 
 

 

 

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

 
 

 

 

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

 
 

 

 


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Goinsoon

I dont suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
jonathan


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Dammit !! ..

 

"Every time I open my mouth, some idiot speaks " ...................

 



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  <<   living life  >>
goinsoon


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Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission...

Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?

I've seen more life in a down and out's vest.

You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...

Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

Folk clap when they see you...but they clap their hands over their eyes.

You're about as much use as a Betamax videorecorder

All day I thought of you....I was at the zoo.

I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.



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Goinsoon

I dont suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
Cruising Granny


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"Shut your mouth! You intelligence is showing."

I used this line on the UHF radio a few days ago to one of those idiots who sit at home surrounded by radios pretending to be big time truckies, taking up valuable radio space.

__________________

20ft Roma caravan - Mercedes Benz Sprinter - SA-based at the moment.
Transport has no borders.

Management makes the decisions, but is not affected by the decisions it makes.
goinsoon


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Posts: 2008
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  • History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.
  • In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left.
  • The biggest argument against democracy is a five minute discussion with the average voter.
  • We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glowworm.
  • If Hitler invaded Hell, I would make at least a favourable reference to the devil in the House of Commons.
  • I am prepared to meet my maker; whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
  • Democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.
  • A nation trying to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to pull himself up by the handles.
  • There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true.
  • The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative.


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Goinsoon

I dont suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
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