Father Ted wrote:

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beachball57 wrote:

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what a bunch of crap, so that theroy i my veiw is full of holes.

 Well we can see where your grandkids get their attitude from.A load of crap?a charming attitude to have.

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 Settle chaps  ...  Lets just be nice to each other & lay off the personal comments.

 

What I have trained myself to do when I read something offensive is to put it aside & come back maybe the next day & carefully re-read it. 

If I am still upset about it, I pen a response .. but never send it.  (mostly)

 

Works for me!

 

PS..

bye the way ... We are fortunate in that both our sets of Grandchildren come running to us for hugs & kisses at each meeting .. We get great joy from the normal parting words ..  "Love you".

My Daughter & her mother are 'best friends' and talk for hours daily.

My son is the most caring guy.

 

How this occured is a mystery to me, especially in that we were far from perfect parents & I am becoming grumpier & grumpier over the years.

 

I also feel very fortunate that my grandchildren are lovely. 'A' has just turned 13, which can be a horror age. But he's still a lovely boy who will happily give his Nana a hug in front of his mates. His Mum, my daughter, and his step-dad are doing a great job with him, although sometimes I feel s-d is a little too hard on him. But then his biological Dad is a hopeless parent! One extreme to the other! But grandson knows my rules, his Mum & s-d rules and his Dad's,,which are non-existant!  And before you say it, no we don't critisize his Dad in front of him.

'K' is not yet 2, but son & d-i-l have the same parenting ideas as I do. Number 2 son has no partner, so 2 out of 3, so far so good!

I don't believe parents shoulde be 'friends' with their children. We are all on 'friendly' terms, but we all have our own friends.

And lastly, I strongly disagree with Father Ted. The grandchildren of one of my friends are being brought up with no boundaries, never told no etc, and that has nothing at all to do with them, but their d-i-l! Grandparents have no control over how their s-i-n or d-i-l has been brought up!

 

-- Edited by Beth54 on Tuesday 3rd of May 2011 02:59:09 PM

Wow - this opened a can of worms didn't it?
It is sad that so many are estranged from their children - I am lucky in that I get on with my kids really well, daughter has 4 boys, the almost 17 year old is the most delightful boy - I feel really close to him, he came with me on a road trip to Melbourne last year (what goes on on a road trip stays on a road trip!!) - he is really open, and spends a lot of time at my house. The almost 13 year old is so gentle and loving - though going through some hormonal changes at the moment, which is interesting, and the twins are 11 - and if they could fish every day, they would think that it was heaven.
I have a 14 year old grandaughter, my sons daughter, but none of us are allowed to see her or have any contact - my son is sepqrated from the mother - but she has contacted her cousins on fb, so I get some news of her that way.

I have four other grandchildren that I am yet to meet - I had their father adopted at birth, and we have just recently made contact, which is very succesful and he is coming up to stay with me for a week. I will try to get down to Melbourne and hopefully meet up with these "new" grandchildren later in the year.

Without the love and caring of my childen and grandchildren, I don't know how I would have survived the last 17 months.

I have no complaints about my grandchildrens behavior, at home, at my place or when I take them out, with or without their mother - they are fantastic kids - I wish you could all be as lucky as me.

 father ted i call it as i see it, if something looks and sounds like crap must be crap,,, i have brought my son up to respect the rules of engagement and sure he messes up from time to time, who doesn't but on the whole he's a pretty good kid, i didn't have a great deal to do with the two girls, maybe if i had they would have turned out differently and then maybe their kids would have turned out differently as well, however like a lot of peple have said on here, MY HOUSE MY RULES, and now it to the point that if you don't like it that way then don't come, simple as that.........

beachball57 wrote:

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i think the point is here that everyone has a diffeent story to tell some good some not so good and some bad, and for those that have a good relationship with their kids/grandkids then good on you and more power to you but for those of us who don't for what ever reason it still hurts when they are used as a wepon on for what ever reason, parenting good or bad, has in my opinion nothing to do with the way our kids behave in adult life,, some of the most privalaged kids turn out to be wasted spaces and some kids many kids who you'd expect to spend a life time behind bars turn out to be great role models so it is my opinion that parenting has very little to do with the way our adult children behave...

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In some cases family breakdowns are a major factor to kids behaving badly. But sometimes there's just no rhyme or reason for it. A case in point...

My d-i-l's older brother is totally different to her. He has been Trouble since the day he was born. Both born into the same household, same parents, brought up exactly the same way, no divorce in the family, and yet he is still, at 40, the biggest headache in their parents lives.

My heart goes out to those of you who don't have a good relationship with your children and grandchildren. Life certainly hasn't been perfect with my children,,particularly with my daughter as a teen, but we've overcome all that and I'm very happy with my lot.

Happywanderer wrote:

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Now, now children, settle down.

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 I didn't Mum!

 

My heart goes out to those that don't enjoy a loving relationship with their children and grandchildren. I'm VERY sincere about that!!!!I'm fortunate in having a wonderful relationship with both our children... and 3 grandsons who think "Nonnie" is very special. Eldest 10, youngest 6. Don't know if the "parenting" thing is the issue tho. Growing up in my generation was very hard. Children seen and not heard! I have told my 2 adult kids, as a parent, I'm sure I did'nt do everything right...but I did what I thought was right at the time. To me... thats the important thing... If you have done your best, then no more can be asked of you. I realise there will come a time when I'm not so important to them... will be replaced with friends, other interests etc, but till then I will enjoy the joy they bring into my life, and pray that I'm giving them wonderful memories. A parent can only do their best..and not beat up on themselves if the child chooses a path other than the one they were shown.
Just my thoughts
Cheers Dellie

Children today love luxury too much.

They have execrable manners, flaunt authority, and have no respect for their elders.

They no longer rise when their parents or teachers enter the room.

What kind of awful creatures will they be when they grow up?



Socrates, 469 399 BC

Thank you, thank you, thank you - my daughter gave me the greatest respect and love when growing up ..... until she started going out with, and consequently married a 'hobbit' in uniform (don't get me wrong, hubby was army and a more respectful man you will never meet) but s-i-l thinks he is the antz pantz, but especially when in uniform, sticks his chest out and is God's gift to the services. Hubby is the only person he doesn't try and 'bluff' 'cause hubby was a grunt (infantry) and s-i-l is a pogo (non combatant) - nothing wrong with non-combatants except if they are short-***** . Sadly daughter has picked up his arrogant ways and it distresses me no end, but after the 'blackmail' incedent as mentioned above, yeah ....... at this stage I am prepared to walk away, and miss out on seeing my little grandson - if we were 'allowed' to visit at any time in the near future.

-- Edited by Pejay on Wednesday 4th of May 2011 09:24:31 AM