grumpy old man

beachball57 · Senior Member

grumpy old man

DeBe · Guru

Your not alone there. Had visitors after Chrismas with un disiplined Kids. Wont be back in a hurry & wont be missed!!

old briney · Senior Member

its your home.

I had the same problems laid down the law and dont see them, they will get over it

lilly31 · Guru

we all have same problem i am lucky my daughter seem to think my way of controling her children works better then her way ..but i has taken 10 years ...but at least when they come to my home or are out with me they know what is right thing to do but dont do it at home cause mum lets them do what they want

Pejay · Guru

Thank you Beach Ball, I was beginning to think it was me. We left Tsv on Easter Sunday (after a second trip up there in a month for the naming ceremony) and because we would not meet them for lunch (last minute invite) I was 'blackmailed' (?) with missing out on seeing my new grandson before we left to come home!! Sorry, but after the last couple of years full of arrogance I have finally decided to walk away for the time being. Oh, I was also told that daughter couldn't 'do anything' for my 60th birthday coming up, so we are planning to head to Latrobe in Tassie for a Winter Chocolate Festival - way to go I say!!!!

-- Edited by Pejay on Monday 2nd of May 2011 07:11:06 PM

Happywanderer · The Master

Seems to be the in thing for adult children to have no regard for their parente. It will come back to bite them one day when their own grow up. I've spent years wondering what I've done wrong to hardly see mine and when I do I seem to be just a nuisance.
Must say this son I'm staying with at the moment has never been like that. The other two a completely different story.

eagles · Veteran Member

My Daughter and her husband have control problems when they often visit and stay with their boys.

They have trouble controling ME!

They reckon I am just a big kid when the boys are about and tell me to grow up.

My answer?

"That's a childish concept"

Loffty · Senior Member

I proudly wear the 'T' shirt (Grumpy old man).
Been workin' a long time to be allowed to :)

Happywanderer · The Master

Pejay, talking about blackmailing children. My sister was told if she wants to see the grandkids, keep the chequebook flowing. Spoilt brats those ones.

Ma · Guru

I must be one of the minority on this subject.

I have always "ruled the roost" in my home since my grandchildren's first visit when they were born.

Have never had any discipline issues they know what is expected of them and they know their boundaries.

Might add there is more love served up with the discipline than the discipline itself.

It all boils down to MY HOUSE MY RULES. If you don't like it don't come.

I have my adult children's blessings on this issue as well.

Helena · Guru

Same as me Ma when the grandies come they know my house rules and they stick by them if not they are soon told fortunately our grown up children abide by what we do in our home Helena.

goinsoon · Guru

Don't know wether it's good luck or good management, but we are blessed with grandies with good manners and behaviour, cant say the same for some of our Nieces and Nephews though, but everyone knows "my house my rules" and accepts it

Gerty Dancer · Guru

Good on you BB! Its your home for goodness sake!

When we were minding D's granddaughter she always behaved well, but if she was visiting with her parents she did whatever she liked and they allowed it. I came to dread those visits. I'm only step-grandma (useful only for changing nappies and cleaning up!). The family moved interstate, but Geez I missed the little girl Id minded for 2 years.

jack biggles · Senior Member

Ma wrote:
I must be one of the minority on this subject.
I have always "ruled the roost" in my home since my grandchildren's first visit when they were born.
Have never had any discipline issues they know what is expected of them and they know their boundaries.
Might add there is more love served up with the discipline than the discipline itself.
It all boils down to MY HOUSE MY RULES. If you don't like it don't come.
I have my adult children's blessings on this issue as well.

Its the only way Ma, the only way.

Its all the cuddly wish washy craaapppp that goes on these days that has bred so much disrespect.

Children are born with arms, legs & other body bits (if their lucky) and virtually everything else from there on needs to be learnt, behaviour is high on that list. By the very nature of the human being we like to test the boundaries, children are the most inventive of this, only problem is all adults were once children, so we should all now know what goes on.

Travel Bug · Guru

I too count myself as one of the lucky ones.

I love my grandies to bits...and they love me to bits in return...

They are all well mannered and well behaved and I'm proud to say that their parents wouldn't have it any other way.

ChiChi1 · Guru

How do you get grandkids? Neither of my kids seem to be interested. Both are well and truly old enough. But both of them look after their Mum really well.

Grand Nieces visited my mum in nursing home tonight. They are old enough to understand that there are sick people there and they should be quite. Parents played with them and made more noise. Mum in her blunt way told them to shut up. Shocked them for about a second. I just don't understand how these kids are allowed to behave like this.

Cruising Granny · Guru

Unfortunately consideration for others seems to be very thin on the ground in the younger generations. It goes with the missing respect.
I fell out with daughter #1 before Christmas because I spoke up about my grandson's personality behaviour. A big worry to his younger brother, and me.
It seems I don't meet my daughters fantasy of a mother and granny. I certainly don't conform to the "norm", whatever that is. I'm not the helpful, happy, playful granny.
So I don't see my grandsons, and they don't see me consequently. It's her loss, but they now suffer because she judges me for my lifestyle eg "trailer trash". She's a trendy snob, an image which costs a lot of money to maintain.
It seems we don't know anything until they become adults and they can tell us what to do and how to live. Oh, and keep the bucks coming.
Not this little white duck.
My middle daughter is the most cool, calm, accepting of my daughters.
The youngest preferred heavy duty drugs, and when I wouldn't fund her habit I was excommunicated from her life as well.
So am I the ogre, or are my standards too high or to low?
Keep playing with the grandkids every chance you get for as long as you can. When they grow up it will pass and they'll be too busy for us.

tonyd · Guru

When I first married in 1969, I made a deliberate decision not to have kids. I have never regretted that for one microsecond. The more I see of many modern kids, the more I see the whirlwind we are going to reap from the new parental attitude of letting them do anything they want. And they want to be friends with their kids. Well, I was never my father's friend. He made the rules and I obeyed them. Or else. Very few of these modern monsters have ever been told "no".
Here in Perth we have 11 and 12 year olds in court over serious sexual assaults on adult women. At their first court appearance they laughed and joked so much the judge had to shout at them to shut up.
Others, not a lot older, steal cars. Mind you, they tend to hit trees/walls at high speed, thus ensuring they never do it again and saving the community any further worries.

milo · Guru

its funny how life is , I used to look after my nieces (4 of them) duriing school holidays when i was a kid. theyd come down to the farm and we got on well, now there all grown up and i havent even seen them at all this year or most of last year. Now 2 of them have there own kids, one lot with twins, thats my grand kids, and i havent seen them.. any way they have there lives and i live mine, its a complicated world

goodie · Veteran Member

Wow...............Lot of sad commentary here. I don't know if the " Good Old Days" were really that good. Most of the poor behaviour concerning us today is attributable to poor parenting.
Poor parenting by " Our Kids " Wonder how that started. Who would they have learned that from? Perhaps I am just a lucky Father, Grandfather and Great Grandfather. The one thing I am glad of is that we had both of the kids young and now enjoy the fruits of family. Off we go on monday for that big one around the block. Looking forward to meeting up with both mine in Queensland in August. Hope they bring the kids.
Lets get started then...................
Chris

Zoomtopz · Guru

I don't have that problem , it seems mt x taught our children to be like her .

Even when son came to Grafton for th races , he still did not come to see us .

It certainly is sad that our blood turns out that way . I wonder what they

think when they find out they have been left out of 'th will' . No dramas

there tho - I Love S K I ing - Spending Kids Inheritance.

Richo biggrin

Father Ted · Senior Member

Travel Bug wrote:
I too count myself as one of the lucky ones.
I love my grandies to bits...and they love me to bits in return...
They are all well mannered and well behaved and I'm proud to say that their parents wouldn't have it any other way.
I am with you,in fact you have saved me from writing a very similar post.Your grandchildren are a reflection on just how you brought up your own children.

Dougie · Veteran Member

Life can sometimes be like hell on earth, & you don't have to die to go there!!

jonathan · Guru

well .. no 'Grandies' here .. (yet) .. but couldn't ask for better lads. One married last year and the other getting married next year.

It does also give me the freedom to do what I'm doing .. I couldn't imagine where I'd be if I'd decided not to have kids .. They really are a wonderful legacy I treasure .. but in saying that, I do appreciate we are all subject to differing life choices ..

Jon

(currently still in Broome WA .. start heading East on Friday)

Ma · Guru

Dougie wrote:
Life can sometimes be like hell on earth, & you don't have to die to go there!!

Been there and back a number of times

beachball57 · Senior Member

hell looks like i'm not the only one in this boat,, behind my story,,my son is, well a typical son i guess, i embarras him no end, he doesn't understand me i don't understand him, he's 22 and we get along fine,,we piss each other off as father and son should i think but i'm there for him he's there for me as much as he can be at 22 i guess, the daughters on the other hand i lost contact with when thery were 4 and 5 years old, only to regain contact again just on 3 years ago,,one i find is a devotee of modern chemistry, spends most of her time hi or trying to get hi,, the other older one has aloving husband and 3 kids, when we first met after so many years things were fine until i said not to suppying money for my daughters hadit and until after several visits with the grankids at our home which included a 10 years old bad mouthing his mother a 5 year old who thought it was ok to do just what ever she liked becasue that's what mummy lets me do and an 8 year old who has fits of rage if he didn't get his own way,,,, i spoke to the parents and the reply i got was well we don't belive in punishment we believe in negotiation,, yeh like thats working,,,so now it seems that any gran kids that the daughters have are out of bounds and well i don't need to fill in the blanks... i seem to get more love and understanding from my step children (sharrons daughters) than i do from my own blood,, i guess we are all different and we have different ways of bringing up our kids but it's sad when they are used as a wepon...........well thats my rant for today anyway.....

-- Edited by beachball57 on Tuesday 3rd of May 2011 10:16:01 AM

Travel Bug · Guru

Travel Bug wrote:

I too count myself as one of the lucky ones.

I love my grandies to bits...and they love me to bits in return...

They are all well mannered and well behaved and I'm proud to say that their parents wouldn't have it any other way.

Father Ted wrote:

I am with you,in fact you have saved me from writing a very similar post.Your grandchildren are a reflection on just how you brought up your own children. wink

Father Ted, the reason that I said I count myself as one of the lucky ones is because there is a lot of luck involved here. I would never, smugly say, that it is all to do with parenting.
That certainly plays a huge part but there are a lot of other factors in play here...way too many to discuss on a (light hearted) forum. I know several people who are not fortunate enough to have a good relationship with their families and it is certainly through no fault of their own. That's why I am lucky. Cheers. smile

yogi · Veteran Member

when i growup im gunna be a kid!!

beachball57 · Senior Member

Travel Bug wrote:
Travel Bug wrote:
I too count myself as one of the lucky ones.
I love my grandies to bits...and they love me to bits in return...
They are all well mannered and well behaved and I'm proud to say that their parents wouldn't have it any other way.
Father Ted wrote:
I am with you,in fact you have saved me from writing a very similar post.Your grandchildren are a reflection on just how you brought up your own children.
Father Ted, the reason that I said I count myself as one of the lucky ones is because there is a lot of luck involved here. I would never, smugly say, that it is all to do with parenting.
That certainly plays a huge part but there are a lot of other factors in play here...way too many to discuss on a (light hearted) forum. I know several people who are not fortunate enough to have a good relationship with their families and it is certainly through no fault of their own. That's why I am lucky. Cheers.
what a bunch of crap, our grandchildren are not a reflection on how we brought up our children, up until i was astranged from my children they we brought up to respect others and "do as they were asked" when they were asked to do it,, the way my daughters kids act is certainly no reflection on the way she was brought up and as for the other one well i certainly wasn't a devotee of modern chemistry, even as an intersate truck driver as i was at the time, so that theroy i my veiw is full of holes

Father Ted · Senior Member

beachball57 wrote:
Travel Bug wrote:
Travel Bug wrote:
I too count myself as one of the lucky ones.
I love my grandies to bits...and they love me to bits in return...
They are all well mannered and well behaved and I'm proud to say that their parents wouldn't have it any other way.
Father Ted wrote:
I am with you,in fact you have saved me from writing a very similar post.Your grandchildren are a reflection on just how you brought up your own children.
Father Ted, the reason that I said I count myself as one of the lucky ones is because there is a lot of luck involved here. I would never, smugly say, that it is all to do with parenting.
That certainly plays a huge part but there are a lot of other factors in play here...way too many to discuss on a (light hearted) forum. I know several people who are not fortunate enough to have a good relationship with their families and it is certainly through no fault of their own. That's why I am lucky. Cheers.
what a bunch of crap, our grandchildren are not a reflection on how we brought up our children, up until i was astranged from my children they we brought up to respect others and "do as they were asked" when they were asked to do it,, the way my daughters kids act is certainly no reflection on the way she was brought up and as for the other one well i certainly wasn't a devotee of modern chemistry, even as an intersate truck driver as i was at the time, so that theroy i my veiw is full of holes.

Well we can see where your grandkids get their attitude from.A load of crap?a charming attitude to have.