THE COOKS REVENGE

It was just a harmless joke, it didnt wound or maim

Though I have to say, Ill never try the like of it again

And threw it in to liven up the cook upon the loo.

And the yells and screams that rent the air were stomach splitting sounds

That the cook had laced with Epsom Salts in payment for the roo.

And it got me rushing toward the loo in next to nothing time

While I tried to act unhurried just to curb the cooks delight

My teeth were clenched in firm resolve, my pores were sweating blood

My cheeks were gripped by rigor mortis, locked in fear and cramp

And I prayed with progress slowing that I wouldnt be too late

The cook, with twisted humour, had jammed the bloody door

Were calculated to inflict more punishment and shame

I put my shoulder to the boards, relief was just inside

And I prayed the trickle down my leg was nothing more than sweat

To reveal a waiting wooden throne, a sight to warm my heart

The vindictive little bastard had screwed the lid down tight

Thommo.