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Post Info TOPIC: Feeling Alone.


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Feeling Alone.


Hi everyone!!

I am a 56 yr old mother and wife, with children who have grown up. I do have grandchildren but I don't see them. My husband works full-time, plus he tends to only speak when spoken too.
My parents are not alive, my relatives are in England and right now, I have not got one friend.
I have a good life when it comes to having a nice home, plus I am pretty capable and healthy.
For most of my adult life, I was surrounded with good friends, but over the last few years since they got grandchildren, plus sick parents to care for, somehow our relationships came to an end.

I find it hard to meet real people. People who are able to truly care. plus communicate well. 

Anyways, I would love to talk to people about being alone, so please respond.


Valerie, in Melbourne.

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valerie thomas


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Hi Valerie ..

Please feel most welcome to the group .. and I'm quite sure you will find a certain attitude prevails here that you will enjoy ..

(.. in Nth Richmond .. Sydney)



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Jon ..     "living & loving life"                  


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well Valerie, you've met "real" people in here, we dont allow loneliness (it's forbidden), we dont allow non speech (all folks on here will yak, thats the law), apart from me only good vibes eminate from this site

anytime about anything we are here, you are in our age group, we have the same wishes, desires, aspirations and life

yak away! plenty of folks here want to talk to you!

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"LOOK BUSY,..............GOD'S WATCHING"



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Welcome Valerie, Havent been here long myself but you will find frendly people here. My wife is here to as ElBe.   Daryl.

-- Edited by DeBe on Monday 16th of November 2009 09:03:38 AM

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D.L.Bishop


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Hi Valerie. Its an age, another time another culture would be celebrating this phase of our lives, teaching us what to do next. You will renew old aquaintances eventually, but in the meantime you have taken steps to make new ones. DeBe is not much of a talker at home, kids left home taking the grankids with them, all the way to Cairns, we have had so much to do with them, I feel like they will grow up without me. and my friends are at different stages. sounds a lot like you Valerie. I'm a little older and some of my old friends are in the same boat as us, reach out to them they will need you too. I have and it has renewed some friendships. Hope we will become friends as well ElBe Leslie B.

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no matter what happens, the sun still rises.



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I can relate somewhat to your story as my own families and friends are scattered around the world.

I'm not a social beast by nature, but on the other hand, I do enjoy the company of like minded friends.

Returning from several years out of the country, having few surviving workmates from a highly stressful occupation, and being somewhat restricted in my activities because of poor health, I too find that making new friends is rather difficult.

The best thing for me has been to follow my own favorite activities, where I meet people who enjoy the same kinds of things as I do.
Amongst them you'll find a few who are on the same philosophical and emotional wave-length as yourself, and with whom you can feel comfortable and happy.

Being available to others when they need a bit of help is also a sure way to have people about you who actually care that you exist.

Anyway, we are here. So, as they say, don't be a stranger. Keep in touch.


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Old age and treachery will overcome youth and enthusiasm any day.......




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Hi Valerie
I turned 56 in October this year, I am alone in this world except of course for my 2 boys Clancy and Connor - they are Whippets and apart from being my best mates they make me lots of friends too!
I have been carer for an old friend and based in Darwin for most of the past 5 years, to come and do this I sold up my house in Eastern Victoria - just before the housing boom! just my luck lol.  Cannot get back into housing market now.
Most years since being up here I have managed short trips away in my campervan and being on the road is my favourite time, it is when I feel like the reeal me!  So when I leave Darwin I shall have to live on the road chasing a bit of work and a bit of volunteering around the country.
I used to get those feelings of lonliness but with help of some good books and meeting lots of nice people just about everywhere I go I never feel lonely - alone yes but not lonely!
The people in here are a wonderful crowd so come in and have a chat often, you will be welcome!

Annie

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Connor - Whippet 

Ciaran - Whippet

Annie - after my 2nd cup of coffee I'm almost human!
Together we are pawsaroundoz!



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Hi and Welcome Valerie. I'm sure you'll find plenty of friends here.
Cheers,
xina.

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xina


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Ditto from me too.
Ironically I had a similar conversation with a male friend today. He's been married for 20yrs, but things aren't as good as they could be at home.
They do talk to each other, but some things have changed between them in the last 2 yrs and it's creating stress.
Not many people live their "ideal" dream in their ideal world, and are content to tolerate it.
They often have to create a life independent of their partner, but not apart.
There are courses, clubs and interests and hobbies you can pursue so you're not relying on your partner to communicate or be your sole companion.
I joined Sing Australia last year and it's been one of the best things I've ever done as far as a social activity goes.
You don't have to be able to sing, you just have to love singing. There's probably a group near you. There's a website to have a look at what it's all about.
As I've been travelling I've met new friends, renewed friendships with former aquaintances. I have more miles to do, hopefully in the new year, give or take some surgery.
All the best to you. Nomads come together from a huge diversity of backgrounds, which make us quite entertaining and informative most of the time.
All the best to you as you establish a distraction.


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20ft Roma caravan - Mercedes Benz Sprinter - SA-based at the moment.
Transport has no borders.

Management makes the decisions, but is not affected by the decisions it makes.



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Wow..................all the people who responded to my situation have been so very lovely. I appreciate all the words given to me, from everyone.

Guess what happened after I wrote what I did, plus meeting this site..........The Nomads!!!. I bought a 1984, 14ft windsor, pop top, caravan. How's that? Isn't it funny how things happen in your life.

We went to a place called Kilcunda, near wonthaggi, last weekend and camped by the ocean there and on December 23rd til January 2nd we are sleeping at Apollo Bay caravan park, plus a park at Mt Dunede. I even booked Xmas lunch at a golf club in Anglesea.........for myself, hubby and son.

I have the caravan at my front door.........hahahahaa as it wouldn't go up the driveway, so due to looking at it everyday, it makes me feel like I'm on holidays, plus see new things.

I love speaking to new people and seeing new places. I am taking baby steps at starting something new and I am pretty pleased this has come my way.

I love chatting, so please say more about your experiences on the road, etc.


Valerie.........xxxxxxxxxxxx "Merry Xmas"



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valerie thomas


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Valerie welcome...

This day and age we're living in
Gives cause for apprehension
With speed and new invention
And things like fourth dimension.

Yet we get a trifle weary
With Mr. Einstein's theory.
So we must get down to earth at times
Relax relieve the tension

And no matter what the progress
Or what may yet be proved
The simple facts of life are such
They cannot be removed.]

You must remember this
A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh.
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by.

And when two lovers woo
They still say, "I love you."
On that you can rely
No matter what the future brings
As time goes by.

Moonlight and love songs
Never out of date.
Hearts full of passion
Jealousy and hate.
Woman needs man
And man must have his mate
That no one can deny.

It's still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die.
The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by.

Oh yes, the world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by.



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Don't take life too seriously.... No one gets out alive

KIA Sorento CRDi EX  ( Ebony black) with 5 hex chrome plated tire air valve covers, Coramal Sunsheild, Elcheapo GPS, First Aid Kit, full KIA toolkit & Yellow lenses on the Foglights......


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Hahahahaa so cool. Don't take life so seriously........YES!!! I agree.........thankyou.



Valerie..........x

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valerie thomas


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Valerie wrote:

Hahahahaa so cool. Don't take life so seriously........YES!!! I agree.........thankyou.



Valerie..........x



Valerie me Cool! WOW and Hey I look a bit like Tiger Woods and we are both married so we could have an affair..... ( that'll get all the wowsers going)

 I've never been called "cool" before I just don't know how to react....



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Don't take life too seriously.... No one gets out alive

KIA Sorento CRDi EX  ( Ebony black) with 5 hex chrome plated tire air valve covers, Coramal Sunsheild, Elcheapo GPS, First Aid Kit, full KIA toolkit & Yellow lenses on the Foglights......


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Basil Can I be your Agent to manage the finance side of the "Afair" with the Media of course. Ime cheep only 5%. cheers Daryl

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D.L.Bishop


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5% sounds good to me, plus never had an affair.......woo hooooooooo.

Valerie.........x

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valerie thomas


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Valerie, whatever you do don't get rid of your husband - the ones who speak only when spoken to know their place and are very scarce. If he spent hours in the pub or wandered around in an Alfoil beanie you'd be upset with him so I think you have to turn the situation though you may feel left out to your advantage. Have you tried to get out an meet people, it's easy become a vollunteer at your local hospital, RSPCA, heck you could even vollunteer at your local massage parlor for a real challenge....
 I envy you having Xmas Lunch at Anglesea, I'd swap places with you in an instant....

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Don't take life too seriously.... No one gets out alive

KIA Sorento CRDi EX  ( Ebony black) with 5 hex chrome plated tire air valve covers, Coramal Sunsheild, Elcheapo GPS, First Aid Kit, full KIA toolkit & Yellow lenses on the Foglights......


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Where is everyone having xmas day this year? Anyone want to come to the golf club at anglesea, Victoria?


Valerie........xxxxxxxx

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valerie thomas


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Love to Valerie But have other comitments, So enjoy & have agood chrismas break. Daryl & Leslie

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D.L.Bishop


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Hi and welcome Valerie,nice to see that your post has only attracted the "Sensible" G/N's.You are amongst a group of people who collectivley have a wealth of information and full on life experiences.A bit like Ali Babas cave,full of goodies.Happy and safe travels to you.Hell it's hard be sensible sometimes.Cheers.Ibbo.

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"Wings Over The Navy"



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I would love to hear what caravan park has been lovely in melbourne that allow pets. Has anyone been to Tamworth also and stayed at the caravan park?


Valerie.......xxxxxx

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valerie thomas


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Hi Valerie,

Been to Tamworth but a very long time ago.

Re Melbourne c/parks and pets, have a look at Badgers Caravan Reports on this link;

http://caravanersforum.com/badger.php  

Happy travelling with the new van and tell your other half how you feel and what he can do to help you feel wanted.

-- Edited by Vic41 on Saturday 2nd of January 2010 11:42:25 PM

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      Vic
"Sunset Coast"
Member - Australian Touring Caravan & Motorhome Club
www.atcmcc.org.au




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Happy New Year to everybody!!!
We just got back from holidays and we had a good time in apollo bay, seeing the great ocean rd, etc.

I am going to be honest, and share what I feel, as what I feel isn't something I wish to deny.
I can get depressed sometimes .....reactive sadness, which only tends to last for a day or so, incase anybody thinks I suffer from more. Over xmas I missed my parents, grandparents, (passed over) siblings in england, who don't show interest in me, due to living in different countries for 40 yrs now.
I kept thinking, if I could make a wish, I would love to see all my 3 children and grandchildren in a room together, for me to have some great memories. I also wished I had my 3 siblings in England and all their children in a room together, too.
Maybe some people value such things, as I have been wishing for such things for most of my life. It's weird I am this way enclined, because I have always been alone, which probably caused me to spend my life wishing and wanting, more.
I have done courses and keeping busy, to the point the trying exhausted me. I then got into restoring houses..........bought 5 houses and restored them, over the last 8 yrs, to keep busy. At least we made some old places get lovely again...hahaha.
My mum died last year and I got to have 5 mins with her before she died, which was lovely. We never got on, or should I say she struggled being close to me.
My middle son who is 32 yrs old had a tripple bypass last xmas day, plus my dad and brother died young of the same heart disease. My ex husband died in a house fire, which took years for us all to get over.
I use to run my own antique shop, was doing very well, when all 3 of my children turned to marijuanna, after their dad died. I one day said to myself, go home, you are needed at home and there I stayed.
My middle son got a mental illness, went to hospital 4 times, over 4 yrs, plus it took 5 yrs to get things to become okay again. I have been his carer, plus he now shares a house with a few guys. He finally got his life back and in came the heart problem. Watching my son's life has changed me. All the power I once may of had seems to of left town.
My eldest son got angry I was a bit self absorbed, plus became self absorbed with his brother, that he is on a mission to punish me. He says whoever knows me gets hurt.........ie; his father, (we were divorced when he died) plus his brother. He tends to think my influence made him sick. To punish me he won't let me see the grandchildren and he has been hurting me for years. I went on a mission to deserve love from him and failed.
Anyways, then my daughter married a lovely guy from Texas, 7 yrs ago, which is why I don't see the 2 grandchildren over there. My daughter says she has so many bad memories here, that she doesn't want to come back. She sees my eldest has turned cold towards being close to family etc. My ex husbands death seems to of caused my eldest son to never want to be close to loving family again. Everyone seems to not trust love and family.......I have known.
My middle son is doing real well now, except he is a loner, due to having a label put on him, you are different, you have a mental illness, plus........your operation may just give you 10 more yrs of life. Watching his life with no friends, no girlfriends, plus we are his everything, has been hard.
I did go home one day to help my family grow and I feel lost.

I move house when I need something to do, so I can enjoy making house. Home is where the heart is and I sure use it.
What my life has always lacked is some family support, plus some family. I think I wish I had some throughout my life, because I do have some.....but, for some reason, it didn't come true.
There are things I very much appreciate and love, plus I am so grateful I met a great guy. The one and only thing he is weak at is, he lets me wear the pants, plus when I need some support, I tend to get a cup of tea..........lots of tea.

Why have I written this? I think because I wanted to say......I am stuck. I can't seem to allow myself to be me. I can't move past being home and making a nice home. It's like one day it will become a nice home, if I keep restoring them, that I have no desire to go through the front door anymore. I went to America to see my daughter and I went away at xmas for my son and husband to have a getaway and I do things if it can bring happiness to those I love.

I must accept what isn't in my control and live my life................yet, I struggle with this, today.

Valerie.

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valerie thomas


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Hello Valerie.Thank you so much for an insight to your life.Most people breeze through life without many hicups.I am sure that youhave been guided to this Forum for a reason.Most of the Forum members are folk who are in the senior part of their lives,I don't mean elderly.I mean "street wise".We will all have had our ups and downs sometime or other.Your post is very brave.The wing of friendship of the Grey Nomads is huge and will enfold you.I can see many frienships coming your way.Cheers.Ibbo.

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"Wings Over The Navy"



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Thankyou............I figure it's healthy to release ones story, rather than hide it away.



Valerie.........x

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valerie thomas


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-- Edited by Sunshine on Sunday 3rd of January 2010 10:08:14 PM

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~ life is what happens while you're busy making other plans ~
Peace ~ Sunshine



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well Valerie, first let me thank you and praise your open truthfull post, there should be more of it, it is only through expressing ones thoughts that we come to realise the problems that lie beneath and are then able to be helped by others

I see quite a few problems and issues in these thoughts, the rebuilding of the houses is a "spiritual" representation of a life rebuilding, you have some serious issues surrounding your life that you candidly are not facing, possibly you are missing your family and think subconsciously that by rebuilding houses you can rebuild your family

I can only advise that you accept that which you cannot change and embrace your new life and make that more meaningfull for yourself, as the grandchildren get older and learn to think for themselves then they will wish to see you, until then you must endure

dont forget them, they are innocent in all this, keep the chrissy pressys up and the birthday cards and gifts,

there is also a legal option, it is actually against the law to withdraw the kiddies away from the grandparents

you may wish to seek leagal aid on this matter, you are eligible for every other weekend (friday to monday) and twice a week access, leagal aid will cost you nothing and they will get a court order specifying the kiddies must be handed over

please do this

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"LOOK BUSY,..............GOD'S WATCHING"



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Really sunshine..................please say what you was going too. I for one would love to read your experience.............please!!!!


Valerie,

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valerie thomas


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Thankyou for responding to me.

I did look into getting visitation and was told it could take more than a year to get a court to grant this. I was also told it would cost $15,000 and we would all need to go to a mediator counsellor prior to going to court. I was also told legal aid don't do family law, otherwise I would have continued trying to see the grandkids here.

Once they grow, I can't turn back the clock and I do really feel it would be beneficial to them to have us in their lives, plus ours.

Did you get told legal aid do family law?


Valerie.

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valerie thomas


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I phoned legal aid direct, for a query that I had involving a "situation" very similar to yours, I was advised that not only was it ilegal for the parents (your son and daughter in law) to withhold visitation but it was actually an "actionable" event, you could take them to court for compensation if you so desired

now I am not an expert on this so please take it upon yourself to get more advice, ring legal aid in your state, easily found by just "googling" legal aid, give them a ring, you will be talking to a lawyer straight away, tell him your full story in plain english, they are good folk and easy to talk to, dont feel threatened they are there to help

now from this I am not sure of the steps so if it invlolves mediation then so be it, be prepared for that, if it takes a court case then so be it be prepared for that, if it takes twelve months then so be it

what price do you place on seeing the grandkids, if it was me I would be prepared to sacrifice all if mine were to be removed

take the first steps and just talk to legal aid and get info direct from the horses mouth then decide what you wish to do from there!

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"LOOK BUSY,..............GOD'S WATCHING"



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sunshine am I banging my head against a brick wall here, I encourage openess and understanding between fellow posters and overall we recieve this, if you have a problem that you feel could be helped by talking about it then bloody well talk

holding it in is the worst thing that you can do, do you think you are alone, the only one with troubles, we all have them, it is far better to talk than to bottle it up, I dont want your voice on the end of my phone at three in the morning telling me how you cant cope anymore and you are going to end it all

talk about your troubles, if not to us then someone else!! please!!!

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"LOOK BUSY,..............GOD'S WATCHING"

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