Hi Valerie ..

Please feel most welcome to the group .. and I'm quite sure you will find a certain attitude prevails here that you will enjoy ..

(.. in Nth Richmond .. Sydney)

Welcome Valerie, Havent been here long myself but you will find frendly people here. My wife is here to as ElBe.   Daryl.

-- Edited by DeBe on Monday 16th of November 2009 09:03:38 AM

I can relate somewhat to your story as my own families and friends are scattered around the world.

I'm not a social beast by nature, but on the other hand, I do enjoy the company of like minded friends.

Returning from several years out of the country, having few surviving workmates from a highly stressful occupation, and being somewhat restricted in my activities because of poor health, I too find that making new friends is rather difficult.

The best thing for me has been to follow my own favorite activities, where I meet people who enjoy the same kinds of things as I do.
Amongst them you'll find a few who are on the same philosophical and emotional wave-length as yourself, and with whom you can feel comfortable and happy.

Being available to others when they need a bit of help is also a sure way to have people about you who actually care that you exist.

Anyway, we are here. So, as they say, don't be a stranger. Keep in touch.

Hi and Welcome Valerie. I'm sure you'll find plenty of friends here.
Cheers,
xina.

Wow..................all the people who responded to my situation have been so very lovely. I appreciate all the words given to me, from everyone.

Guess what happened after I wrote what I did, plus meeting this site..........The Nomads!!!. I bought a 1984, 14ft windsor, pop top, caravan. How's that? Isn't it funny how things happen in your life.

We went to a place called Kilcunda, near wonthaggi, last weekend and camped by the ocean there and on December 23rd til January 2nd we are sleeping at Apollo Bay caravan park, plus a park at Mt Dunede. I even booked Xmas lunch at a golf club in Anglesea.........for myself, hubby and son.

I have the caravan at my front door.........hahahahaa as it wouldn't go up the driveway, so due to looking at it everyday, it makes me feel like I'm on holidays, plus see new things.

I love speaking to new people and seeing new places. I am taking baby steps at starting something new and I am pretty pleased this has come my way.

I love chatting, so please say more about your experiences on the road, etc.


Valerie.........xxxxxxxxxxxx "Merry Xmas"

Hahahahaa so cool. Don't take life so seriously........YES!!! I agree.........thankyou.



Valerie..........x

Basil Can I be your Agent to manage the finance side of the "Afair" with the Media of course. Ime cheep only 5%. cheers Daryl

Valerie, whatever you do don't get rid of your husband - the ones who speak only when spoken to know their place and are very scarce. If he spent hours in the pub or wandered around in an Alfoil beanie you'd be upset with him so I think you have to turn the situation though you may feel left out to your advantage. Have you tried to get out an meet people, it's easy become a vollunteer at your local hospital, RSPCA, heck you could even vollunteer at your local massage parlor for a real challenge....
 I envy you having Xmas Lunch at Anglesea, I'd swap places with you in an instant....

Love to Valerie But have other comitments, So enjoy & have agood chrismas break. Daryl & Leslie

I would love to hear what caravan park has been lovely in melbourne that allow pets. Has anyone been to Tamworth also and stayed at the caravan park?


Valerie.......xxxxxx

Happy New Year to everybody!!!
We just got back from holidays and we had a good time in apollo bay, seeing the great ocean rd, etc.

I am going to be honest, and share what I feel, as what I feel isn't something I wish to deny.
I can get depressed sometimes .....reactive sadness, which only tends to last for a day or so, incase anybody thinks I suffer from more. Over xmas I missed my parents, grandparents, (passed over) siblings in england, who don't show interest in me, due to living in different countries for 40 yrs now.
I kept thinking, if I could make a wish, I would love to see all my 3 children and grandchildren in a room together, for me to have some great memories. I also wished I had my 3 siblings in England and all their children in a room together, too.
Maybe some people value such things, as I have been wishing for such things for most of my life. It's weird I am this way enclined, because I have always been alone, which probably caused me to spend my life wishing and wanting, more.
I have done courses and keeping busy, to the point the trying exhausted me. I then got into restoring houses..........bought 5 houses and restored them, over the last 8 yrs, to keep busy. At least we made some old places get lovely again...hahaha.
My mum died last year and I got to have 5 mins with her before she died, which was lovely. We never got on, or should I say she struggled being close to me.
My middle son who is 32 yrs old had a tripple bypass last xmas day, plus my dad and brother died young of the same heart disease. My ex husband died in a house fire, which took years for us all to get over.
I use to run my own antique shop, was doing very well, when all 3 of my children turned to marijuanna, after their dad died. I one day said to myself, go home, you are needed at home and there I stayed.
My middle son got a mental illness, went to hospital 4 times, over 4 yrs, plus it took 5 yrs to get things to become okay again. I have been his carer, plus he now shares a house with a few guys. He finally got his life back and in came the heart problem. Watching my son's life has changed me. All the power I once may of had seems to of left town.
My eldest son got angry I was a bit self absorbed, plus became self absorbed with his brother, that he is on a mission to punish me. He says whoever knows me gets hurt.........ie; his father, (we were divorced when he died) plus his brother. He tends to think my influence made him sick. To punish me he won't let me see the grandchildren and he has been hurting me for years. I went on a mission to deserve love from him and failed.
Anyways, then my daughter married a lovely guy from Texas, 7 yrs ago, which is why I don't see the 2 grandchildren over there. My daughter says she has so many bad memories here, that she doesn't want to come back. She sees my eldest has turned cold towards being close to family etc. My ex husbands death seems to of caused my eldest son to never want to be close to loving family again. Everyone seems to not trust love and family.......I have known.
My middle son is doing real well now, except he is a loner, due to having a label put on him, you are different, you have a mental illness, plus........your operation may just give you 10 more yrs of life. Watching his life with no friends, no girlfriends, plus we are his everything, has been hard.
I did go home one day to help my family grow and I feel lost.

I move house when I need something to do, so I can enjoy making house. Home is where the heart is and I sure use it.
What my life has always lacked is some family support, plus some family. I think I wish I had some throughout my life, because I do have some.....but, for some reason, it didn't come true.
There are things I very much appreciate and love, plus I am so grateful I met a great guy. The one and only thing he is weak at is, he lets me wear the pants, plus when I need some support, I tend to get a cup of tea..........lots of tea.

Why have I written this? I think because I wanted to say......I am stuck. I can't seem to allow myself to be me. I can't move past being home and making a nice home. It's like one day it will become a nice home, if I keep restoring them, that I have no desire to go through the front door anymore. I went to America to see my daughter and I went away at xmas for my son and husband to have a getaway and I do things if it can bring happiness to those I love.

I must accept what isn't in my control and live my life................yet, I struggle with this, today.

Valerie.

Thankyou............I figure it's healthy to release ones story, rather than hide it away.



Valerie.........x

well Valerie, first let me thank you and praise your open truthfull post, there should be more of it, it is only through expressing ones thoughts that we come to realise the problems that lie beneath and are then able to be helped by others

I see quite a few problems and issues in these thoughts, the rebuilding of the houses is a "spiritual" representation of a life rebuilding, you have some serious issues surrounding your life that you candidly are not facing, possibly you are missing your family and think subconsciously that by rebuilding houses you can rebuild your family

I can only advise that you accept that which you cannot change and embrace your new life and make that more meaningfull for yourself, as the grandchildren get older and learn to think for themselves then they will wish to see you, until then you must endure

dont forget them, they are innocent in all this, keep the chrissy pressys up and the birthday cards and gifts,

there is also a legal option, it is actually against the law to withdraw the kiddies away from the grandparents

you may wish to seek leagal aid on this matter, you are eligible for every other weekend (friday to monday) and twice a week access, leagal aid will cost you nothing and they will get a court order specifying the kiddies must be handed over

please do this

Thankyou for responding to me.

I did look into getting visitation and was told it could take more than a year to get a court to grant this. I was also told it would cost $15,000 and we would all need to go to a mediator counsellor prior to going to court. I was also told legal aid don't do family law, otherwise I would have continued trying to see the grandkids here.

Once they grow, I can't turn back the clock and I do really feel it would be beneficial to them to have us in their lives, plus ours.

Did you get told legal aid do family law?


Valerie.