Just phoned the NHS swine flu helpline and all I got was crackling.
How did the pig go on holiday? The swine flu !!!
Swine flu isn't a problem for pigs, because they're all going to be cured anyway.
The first sign of pig flu is that you come out in nasty rashers.
If you want a clear train carriage on the way into work this week, just start coughing loudly and exclaiming "Iválgame dios!" in a Mexican accent.
Swine flu is getting serious, it has been reported to be a hamdemic, which may lead to an aporkolypse... But we'll get through.
Where there's a swill there's a way.
This little piggy went to market, This little piggy stayed at home, This little piggy had roast beef, This little piggy had none. And this little piggy had influenza A virus subtype hemagglutinin protein 1 neuraminidase protein 1.
The only known cure for Swine Flu has been found to be the liberal application of oinkment.
My friend says he's got swine flu, but I think he's telling porkies.
I have to say, I'm finding all these jokes about swine flu pretty boaring.
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Guru & Ma Ulladulla NSW Happy day, safe travelling Ford Ranger towing 21ft Jurgen shower and toilet which was large enough to fit in a few extras (fridge, bed, stove...)
Symptom 1, runny nose, head congestion, nagging harsh cough.
Symptom 2, General aches and pains throughout your body
Symptom 3, Fever and sweating
Symptom 4, Uncontrollable urge to roll around in the mud.
Wal
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Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
