Donald Duck goes on a dirty weekend but forgets his condoms. He calls down to reception, asks for a pack of three. Reception asks shall I put them on your bill? Donald replies, "Don't be bloody stupid, I'll suffocate"....
It was once said a black man would be president when pigs flew.
Well behold...!! 100 days into his presidency...Swine Flu!!
A Priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 35 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.
However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited: 'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'...
Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk:
'I'll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.'
Moral : Never, Never, Never Be Late
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Don't take life too seriously.... No one gets out alive
KIA Sorento CRDi EX ( Ebony black) with 5 hex chrome plated tire air valve covers, Coramal Sunsheild, Elcheapo GPS, First Aid Kit, full KIA toolkit & Yellow lenses on the Foglights......
