A car hits an elderly jewish man. Are u comfortable the paramedic askes "I make a good living;

I just got back from a pleasure trip,  took my mother inlaw to the airport.

What are the three words a women dosent want to hear when she is making love. "Honey im home"

Someone stole my credit cards but im not reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife does.

We always hold hands, if i let  go, she shops.

My wife and i went back to same hotel where we spent our honey moon, only this time i sat on the bath edge and cried. 

My wife and i went to a motel where we got a water bed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.

She went to a beauty shop for two hours, and that was only for an estimate. She got a mud pack and looked great for 2 days, then the mudpack fell off.

 I was in london: now with the time difference i get confused. When i go to dinner i feel sexy. When i go to bed i feel hungry.

The doctor gave the man 6 months to live. The man couldnt pay his bill , so the doctor gave him another 6 months.

 The Doctor rang Mrs Cohen saying, "Mrs Cohen your check came back". Mre Cohen answered so did my arthritis.

 "Doctor: " You will live to be 60"
  " Paintent: "I am 60"
 Doctor: See! What did i tell u?.

                 HAD ENOUGH YET    DIDNT THINK SO

A Doctor held a stethoscope up to a mans chest. The man askes how do i stand ?
The Doctor says, That what puzzles me.

A drunk stands in front of a judge. Thw judge says u have been brought here for drinking. The drunk says, "Okay lets get started"  

      AND SOME MORE  JUST FOR U  GAWD UVE GONE THIS FAR

(1) The Harvard school of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. This is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backwards is Not Now.

(2) Q; Why do Jewish make gret parole officers?
     A; They never let anyone finish a sentence
 
(3) Q; What is a Jewish womens favorite position?
     A;  Facing Myers window

(4) A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play.  She asks,  What part is it?   The boys says i play the part of a Jewish husband.  The mother scowls and says, 'go back and tell them u want a talking role.

                         ENOUGH IS ENOUGH   TOODLESS