check out the new remote control Jockey Wheel SmartBar Canegrowers rearview170 Cobb Grill Skid Row Recovery Gear
Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: CREDIT CRUNCH


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 181
Date:
CREDIT CRUNCH


CREDIT CRUNCH.



Dear employees,


Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).





Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.


Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).


Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.


Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much **** (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of **** it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough ****, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the **** you can handle.


Sincerely,


The Management





__________________
Someone said,  "Cheer up, things could be worse."    So I cheered up and things got worse.


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 2601
Date:

now that I believe!!!!!!!!!!!!

__________________
 me, the dragon, & little blue,  never stop playing, live long,  laugh lots, travel far, give a stranger a smile, might just be your next best freind.  try to commit a random act of kindness everyday

 http://daventhedragon.blogspot.com



Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 1880
Date:

Been there and got it all but they still want to get at ya .

Good One

__________________

Pets are welcome but children must be leashed at all times

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.

Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us
Purchase Grey Nomad bumper stickers Read our daily column, the Nomad News The Grey Nomad's Guidebook