LOG ON: Adding wood to make the barbie  hotter.  

LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the  barbie.  

MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie.    

DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the  ute.  

HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold  tinnies.  

KEYBOARD: Where you hang the ute keys.    

WINDOW: What you shut when the weather's  cold.  

SCREEN: What you shut in the mozzie  season.  

BYTE: What mozzies do.    

MEGABYTE: What Cairns mozzies do.    

CHIP: A bar snack.    

MICROCHIP: What's left in the bag after you've eaten  the chips.  

MODEM: What you did to the lawns.    

LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps.    

SOFTWARE: Plastic knives & forks you get at Red  Rooster.  

HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives & forks - from  K-Mart.  

MOUSE: The small rodent that eats the grain in the  shed.  

MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up.    

WEB: What spiders make.    

WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the  verandah.  

SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the ute won't  go.  

CURSOR: What you say when the ute won't  go.  

YAHOO: What you say when the ute does go.    

UPGRADE: A steep hill.    

SERVER: The person at the pub who brings out the  counter lunch.  

MAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the  counter lunch.  

USER: The neighbour who keeps borrowing  things.  

NETWORK: What you do when you need to repair the  fishing net.  

INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go.    

NETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover the hole  in the net..  

ONLINE: Where you hang the washing.    

OFFLINE: Where the washing ends up when the pegs  aren't strong  enough.