:They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken

:99% of lawyers give the others a bad name

:Inside every older person is a younger person wondering "what the hell happened"

:A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory

:If you think nobody cares try missing a couple of payments

:You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

:I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on