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RETARDED GRANDPARENTS
(Preview)
RETARDED GRANDPARENTS - (this was actually reported by a teacher) After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following: We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Gr...
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NannyMon
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1
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1348
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INTERESTING FACTS
(Preview)
Interesting facts that you really don't need to know. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you passed wind consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an ato...
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sgntbilko
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1
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1638
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Confession
(Preview)
A young Irish chap goes to confession and says to the priest "Forgive me father for I have sinned" "And what is your sin my son?" replies the priest "Last night I had unprotected sex with a girl." says the chap "That is a very serious sin, my son, tell me who was the g...
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JRH
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0
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1224
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pets and there owners
(Preview)
Dear dogs and cats, the dishes with the paw marks are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my food dosent stake a claim to it, and nor do i find it aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not built by NASCAR and is no...
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drongo & wendy
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1
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1094
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Anger Management Therapy
(Preview)
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know, but you know deserves it. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.. A man...
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Basil Faulty
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4
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1309
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on the subject of age
(Preview)
A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding.. Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: Don't have one? Older Woman...
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mike and Judy
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0
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1122
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Fer the luv o'the Irish
(Preview)
You Gotta Love The IrishThe Errand McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave. "S'cuse me", said a customer, who w...
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Roostertales
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2
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1451
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the REAL reason why Crusin Granny and other women move to Queensland....
(Preview)
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Basil Faulty
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8
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1895
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gentle people
(Preview)
Good-bye, Mother! A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. "Pardon me," she said, "I'...
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mike and Judy
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0
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1034
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Fish Snags
(Preview)
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Wombat 280
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0
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1179
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sorry failed lost in cyber space
(Preview)
-- Edited by The Gnome on Thursday 9th of April 2009 08:17:59 PM
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The Gnome
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0
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1105
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who needs Viagra
(Preview)
No matter what this husband did in bed, his wife never achieved an orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to consult their Rabbi. The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion: 'Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you...
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mike and Judy
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3
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1601
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medicine
(Preview)
While in China , a man is sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this...
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mike and Judy
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2
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1568
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Medicare
(Preview)
Only a poor med student waiting for his medicare provider number so he can aford to up date his equipment
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Wombat 280
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1
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1308
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THE YA YA SISTERS
(Preview)
If u love something set it free. If it comes back it will always be yours, if it dosent come back it never was yours. But, if it just sits in your living room and messes up your stuff, eats your food and users your phone, takes your money and dosent appear to realise that u had to set it free, you either marri...
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drongo & wendy
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0
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1298
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ozzie joke
(Preview)
A Northern Territory (Oz) farm hand (An Aboriginal) radios back to the farm manager. 'Boss, I gotta helluva problem here. I hit a pig with the Ute. The pig's OK, but he's stuck in the bullbars at the front of my Ute andis wriggling and squealing so much I can't get him out.' The manager says,'Ok, there's a...
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mike and Judy
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1
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1380
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SHORT IN WORDS, LONG IN MEANING
(Preview)
What a profound short little paragraph that says it all!!! "You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybodyanything tha...
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sgntbilko
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2
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1412
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A Fix For That Snoring
(Preview)
A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles, and he will stop snoring. "Yeah right!" she says. A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual....
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Wombat 280
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2
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1620
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We Came Through This
(Preview)
These comments were made in the year 1955! That's only 54 years ago! 'I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $10.00. 'Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $1, 000.00 will only buy a used one....
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Wombat 280
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0
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1304
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Changing Names Does That
(Preview)
Mohammed enters his classroom - What is your name? asked the teacher. - Mohammed, answered the kid. - Here we are in France, there is no Mohammed,from now on your name will be Jean-Francois, replied the teacher In the evening, Mohammed returned home. - The day went .................. well Mohammed...
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Wombat 280
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0
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1238
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