Just Joking

Disco Duck · Disco Duck

Julia Gillard was touring the countryside in a chauffeur-driven car. Suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road, they hit it full on and the car comes to a stop. Julia in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur: 'You get out and check - you were driving.' The chauffeur gets out, checks and report...

Disco Duck · Disco Duck

And they ask---Why I Like Retirement? Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all...

Disco Duck · Disco Duck

The Penis Poem My nookie days are over, My pilot light is out. What used to be my sex appeal, Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord, From my trousers it would spring. But now I've got a full time job, To find the F*&#ing thing. It used to be embarrassing, The way it would behave. For ever...

Hylda&Jon · Hylda&Jon

THE HOT FLY In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. A hot,dry fly who said to no one in particular, "Gosh ... if I go down three inches...,I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed." There was a fish in the water thinking, "Gosh if that fly goes Down thr...

Libby · Libby

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice. "What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-...

dave06 · dave06

Jacky and Freddo race into a bar and quickly shouts out to the publican "quick give us a drink before the trouble starts" the publican quickly hands them two beers and says "that'll be $8" to which Jacky says to freddo "well looks like the trouble's started"

dave06 · dave06

Jacky Jacky was having a beer at a pub that he was not familiar with, he was dying for the loo so asked the publican who directed him upstairs, to the right and the first door on the left a while passes and the publican gets a bit concerened about Jacky Jacky so he goes looking only to be greeted at the top of th...

Hylda&Jon · Hylda&Jon

John O'Riley was a member of an all male, Irish Toast Masters Club. One evening at the local Irish Toast Masters meeting, a contest was held to see who could deliver the best toast. Well, John O'Riley won the contest with the following verse: "Here's to the best years o' me life, spent between the l...

Firefly · Firefly

An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church. 'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month.'The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's.' Soon thereafter, another Irish man...

Palebushman · Palebushman

In the fun world of the administration of justice, not all the laughs are in the court-room. Indeed, giggles and guffaws can erupt at almost any time or place. For example: On a bitterly cold winter's day several years ago in northern British Columbia, a RCMP constable on patrol c...

Basil Faulty · Basil Faulty

A Department of Water Resources representative stops at a Lockyer Valley farm and talks with an old farmer. He tells the farmer, I need to inspect your farm for your water allocation. The old farmer says, 'Okay, but don't go in that paddock over there. The Water representative says, 'Mister, I hav...

Libby · Libby

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold, the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, So, what was wrong? He replied, It was an ID ten T error. I didnt want...

Libby · Libby

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, Please come over here and help me I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I cant figure out how to get it started. Her boyfriend asks, What is it supposed to be when its finished? The blonde says, According to the picture on the box, its a rooster. Her boyfriend decides to g...

Libby · Libby

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, When you die, Im getting you a headstone that reads, Here Lies My Wife Cold As Ever! Yeah? she replies. When you die, Im getting you a headstone that reads, Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last!

twobob · twobob

Saturday morning I got up early, put on my warm fishing gear, dressing quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was hail mixed with the rain, and the wind was blowing 50 kmh. I pull...

Firefly · Firefly

Getting a hairdryer through customs.... A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favor?' 'Of course child. What may I do for you?' 'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and wel...

Libby · Libby

Gala Christmas Party I'M HAPPY ' TO, INFORM YOU that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing alo...

Firefly · Firefly

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, 'My dear child, why are you crying?' The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in makin...

Libby · Libby

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired. 2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway). 3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 4. A backward poet writes inverse. 5. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off. 6. A chicken crossing the road is poultry...

Disco Duck · Disco Duck

"Dear God, this year please send clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy's computer, Amen."

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Julia (Preview) Julia Gillard was touring the countryside in a chauffeur-driven car. Suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road, they hit it full on and the car comes to a stop. Julia in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur: 'You get out and check - you were driving.' The chauffeur gets out, checks and report...	Disco Duck	1	964	10:29 AM Dec 4, 2009 by dave06
	Retirees (Preview) And they ask---Why I Like Retirement? Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all...	Disco Duck	1	945	07:51 AM Dec 4, 2009 by jimricho
	The "P" Poem (Preview) The Penis Poem My nookie days are over, My pilot light is out. What used to be my sex appeal, Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord, From my trousers it would spring. But now I've got a full time job, To find the F*&#ing thing. It used to be embarrassing, The way it would behave. For ever...	Disco Duck	0	1050	11:07 PM Dec 3, 2009 by Disco Duck
	THE HOT FLY (Preview) THE HOT FLY In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. A hot,dry fly who said to no one in particular, "Gosh ... if I go down three inches...,I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed." There was a fish in the water thinking, "Gosh if that fly goes Down thr...	Hylda&Jon	4	1085	03:57 PM Dec 3, 2009 by dave06
	Shopping (Preview) While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice. "What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-...	Libby	1	943	02:12 PM Dec 3, 2009 by dave06
	Jacky and freddo (Preview) Jacky and Freddo race into a bar and quickly shouts out to the publican "quick give us a drink before the trouble starts" the publican quickly hands them two beers and says "that'll be $8" to which Jacky says to freddo "well looks like the trouble's started"	dave06	0	744	02:04 PM Dec 3, 2009 by dave06
	Jacky, Jacky (Preview) Jacky Jacky was having a beer at a pub that he was not familiar with, he was dying for the loo so asked the publican who directed him upstairs, to the right and the first door on the left a while passes and the publican gets a bit concerened about Jacky Jacky so he goes looking only to be greeted at the top of th...	dave06	0	875	02:01 PM Dec 3, 2009 by dave06
	Irish but a bit naughty (Preview) John O'Riley was a member of an all male, Irish Toast Masters Club. One evening at the local Irish Toast Masters meeting, a contest was held to see who could deliver the best toast. Well, John O'Riley won the contest with the following verse: "Here's to the best years o' me life, spent between the l...	Hylda&Jon	0	981	01:34 PM Dec 3, 2009 by Hylda&Jon
	Fanny Green (Preview) An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church. 'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month.'The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's.' Soon thereafter, another Irish man...	Firefly	0	921	08:42 AM Dec 3, 2009 by Firefly
	The Frozen Carburetor... (Preview) In the fun world of the administration of justice, not all the laughs are in the court-room. Indeed, giggles and guffaws can erupt at almost any time or place. For example: On a bitterly cold winter's day several years ago in northern British Columbia, a RCMP constable on patrol c...	Palebushman	0	1007	10:54 PM Dec 2, 2009 by Palebushman
	Typical Aussie farmer (Preview) A Department of Water Resources representative stops at a Lockyer Valley farm and talks with an old farmer. He tells the farmer, I need to inspect your farm for your water allocation. The old farmer says, 'Okay, but don't go in that paddock over there. The Water representative says, 'Mister, I hav...	Basil Faulty	3	1109	08:20 PM Dec 2, 2009 by Cruising Granny
	Computer problems (Preview) I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold, the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, So, what was wrong? He replied, It was an ID ten T error. I didnt want...	Libby	1	855	09:24 PM Dec 1, 2009 by Pam
	Another blonde joke (Preview) A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, Please come over here and help me I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I cant figure out how to get it started. Her boyfriend asks, What is it supposed to be when its finished? The blonde says, According to the picture on the box, its a rooster. Her boyfriend decides to g...	Libby	0	708	08:24 PM Dec 1, 2009 by Libby
	40th wedding anniversary (Preview) Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, When you die, Im getting you a headstone that reads, Here Lies My Wife Cold As Ever! Yeah? she replies. When you die, Im getting you a headstone that reads, Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last!	Libby	0	757	08:02 PM Dec 1, 2009 by Libby
	gone fishing (Preview) Saturday morning I got up early, put on my warm fishing gear, dressing quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was hail mixed with the rain, and the wind was blowing 50 kmh. I pull...	twobob	0	770	09:59 AM Dec 1, 2009 by twobob
	How To Smuggle A Hair Dryer (Preview) Getting a hairdryer through customs.... A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favor?' 'Of course child. What may I do for you?' 'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and wel...	Firefly	0	924	08:39 AM Dec 1, 2009 by Firefly
	Gala Christmas Party (Preview) Gala Christmas Party I'M HAPPY ' TO, INFORM YOU that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing alo...	Libby	1	984	10:29 PM Nov 29, 2009 by Mike47
	When a Woman Lies. (Preview) One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, 'My dear child, why are you crying?' The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in makin...	Firefly	2	976	06:51 PM Nov 29, 2009 by Firefly
	Clever (Preview) 1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired. 2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway). 3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 4. A backward poet writes inverse. 5. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off. 6. A chicken crossing the road is poultry...	Libby	2	989	04:46 PM Nov 29, 2009 by jimricho
	A Six Year Old's Prayer! (Preview) "Dear God, this year please send clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy's computer, Amen."	Disco Duck	1	892	03:50 PM Nov 29, 2009 by Rolly
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