Just Joking

Basil Faulty · Basil Faulty

One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race. Before the next race, as the horses b...

Firefly · Firefly

So Paddy asks Murphy: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?" To which Murphy replies,"Well if they fell forwards they'd still be in the bloody boat!"

suenami · suenami

A maths Problem? Why Australia is in Trouble The population of this country is 20 million. 11 million are retired. That leaves 9 million to do the work. There are 5 million in school Which leaves 4 million to do the work. Of this there are 2 million employed by the federal government. Leaving 2 mi...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

Finally, a definition of globalization that I can understand and to which Inow can relate : Question:What is the truest definition of Globalization ? Answer :Princess Diana's death.. Question :How come? Answer : An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel,dri...

Firefly · Firefly

An old man lived alone in the countryside. He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it would be very hard work as the ground was hardened. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him normally, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. Dear Vincent, I am feeling prett...

Firefly · Firefly

STUD ROOSTER A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, 'OK old f art, time for you to retire.' The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me Can't...

Jonathan · Jonathan

Mmmm .. I wonder if you can relate to this ..

reza · reza

Oil Change instructions for Women: 1) Drive into Ultra Tune when the odometer reaches 10,000 kilometres since the last oil change. 2) Drink a cup of coffee, read paper (both of which are free). 3) 15 minutes later, swipe the Visa and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Money spent: Oil Change: $...

Firefly · Firefly

Should children witness childbirth? Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she w...

Ma · Ma

We've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired'? Well we are fortunate to have a chemical engineering background, and one of the things we enjoy most is turning beer, wine, Scotch, and margaritas into urine. Mind you there is still a lot or research to be done and althoug...

kenglenn11 · kenglenn11

The Blonde & The Heart Attack A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting..... 'What's up?' she asks. 'I think I'm having a heart attack,' cries the husband.. The...

suenami · suenami

A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the >> sky >> clouded above his head... In a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you >> have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.' >> >> The biker pulled over and said, 'Bui...

suenami · suenami

At dawn the telephone rings, 'Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house.' 'Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?' 'Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead' 'My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International compe...

reza · reza

The Divorced Barbie Doll One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers his daughter's Christmas gift. He stops by a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?' The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Wor...

suenami · suenami

I went to the cemetery yesterday and there were four pall bearers walking around with a coffin. Three hours later they were still walking around with it.I thought to myself:These bastards have lost the plot.

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Two female council workers where hard at it one digging a hole and the second filling it in. They work up one side of the road and down the other one digging one filling in . Local resident was so impressed by their unrelenting efforts without a break he approached the two women to praise their work ethic...

Firefly · Firefly

Whateveryour politics, I thinkyou'll get ! a kick out of this! Alittle boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?' Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Govern...

Rolly · Rolly

Definitely not PC, but what a hoot! http://englishatheist.org/pooh.shtml Pass me another incontinence pad, please.

Ma · Ma

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director, "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalised?" "Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty...

Firefly · Firefly

For all of us who are seniors - for all of you who know seniors - and for all of you who will be seniors.. It pays to be able to laugh about it when you are! And, speaking of senior moments: "WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?" The irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly demanded, wanting to kno...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	For the punters... (Preview) One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race. Before the next race, as the horses b...	Basil Faulty	0	932	10:56 AM Oct 2, 2009 by Basil Faulty
	The Delightful Irish (Preview) So Paddy asks Murphy: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?" To which Murphy replies,"Well if they fell forwards they'd still be in the bloody boat!"	Firefly	0	850	12:58 PM Sep 30, 2009 by Firefly
	I Know why Australia is in Trouble (Preview) A maths Problem? Why Australia is in Trouble The population of this country is 20 million. 11 million are retired. That leaves 9 million to do the work. There are 5 million in school Which leaves 4 million to do the work. Of this there are 2 million employed by the federal government. Leaving 2 mi...	suenami	0	996	09:06 PM Sep 29, 2009 by suenami
	Globalization (Preview) Finally, a definition of globalization that I can understand and to which Inow can relate : Question:What is the truest definition of Globalization ? Answer :Princess Diana's death.. Question :How come? Answer : An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel,dri...	Gary and Kerry	0	860	03:28 PM Sep 29, 2009 by Gary and Kerry
	The Good Son (Preview) An old man lived alone in the countryside. He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it would be very hard work as the ground was hardened. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him normally, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. Dear Vincent, I am feeling prett...	Firefly	0	652	12:53 PM Sep 28, 2009 by Firefly
	Stud Rooster (Preview) STUD ROOSTER A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, 'OK old f art, time for you to retire.' The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me Can't...	Firefly	0	728	05:59 PM Sep 27, 2009 by Firefly
	waddya reckon !! (Preview) Mmmm .. I wonder if you can relate to this ..	Jonathan	2	815	09:49 PM Sep 26, 2009 by suenami
	OIL CHANGE (Preview) Oil Change instructions for Women: 1) Drive into Ultra Tune when the odometer reaches 10,000 kilometres since the last oil change. 2) Drink a cup of coffee, read paper (both of which are free). 3) 15 minutes later, swipe the Visa and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Money spent: Oil Change: $...	reza	1	909	09:47 PM Sep 26, 2009 by suenami
	Witnessing Child Birth (Preview) *Should children witness childbirth?* Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she w...	Firefly	1	1268	09:11 PM Sep 25, 2009 by justcruisin01
	RETIREMENT (Preview) We've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired'? Well we are fortunate to have a chemical engineering background, and one of the things we enjoy most is turning beer, wine, Scotch, and margaritas into urine. Mind you there is still a lot or research to be done and althoug...	Ma	1	817	07:42 PM Sep 25, 2009 by Gary and Kerry
	Heart Attack (Preview) The Blonde & The Heart Attack A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting..... 'What's up?' she asks. 'I think I'm having a heart attack,' cries the husband.. The...	kenglenn11	0	655	05:27 PM Sep 25, 2009 by kenglenn11
	Understanding Women (Preview) A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the >> sky >> clouded above his head... In a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you >> have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.' >> >> The biker pulled over and said, 'Bui...	suenami	0	922	10:18 AM Sep 25, 2009 by suenami
	Your parrot is dead, Senor (Preview) At dawn the telephone rings, 'Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house.' 'Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?' 'Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead' 'My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International compe...	suenami	1	885	08:57 AM Sep 25, 2009 by Firefly
	Barbie (Preview) The Divorced Barbie Doll One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers his daughter's Christmas gift. He stops by a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?' The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Wor...	reza	0	752	10:36 PM Sep 24, 2009 by reza
	4 Pall Bearers (Preview) I went to the cemetery yesterday and there were four pall bearers walking around with a coffin. Three hours later they were still walking around with it.I thought to myself:These bastards have lost the plot.	suenami	1	798	10:27 PM Sep 24, 2009 by Ma
	Truely Blonde (Preview) Two female council workers where hard at it one digging a hole and the second filling it in. They work up one side of the road and down the other one digging one filling in . Local resident was so impressed by their unrelenting efforts without a break he approached the two women to praise their work ethic...	Wombat 280	0	857	09:41 PM Sep 24, 2009 by Wombat 280
	Politics (Preview) Whateveryour politics, I thinkyou'll get ! a kick out of this! Alittle boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?' Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Govern...	Firefly	0	759	07:11 PM Sep 24, 2009 by Firefly
	Pooh goes ape (Preview) Definitely not PC, but what a hoot! http://englishatheist.org/pooh.shtml Pass me another incontinence pad, please.	Rolly	0	806	04:30 PM Sep 24, 2009 by Rolly
	THE BATHTUB TEST (Preview) During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director, "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalised?" "Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty...	Ma	0	724	12:51 PM Sep 24, 2009 by Ma
	Sunday Paper (Preview) For all of us who are seniors - for all of you who know seniors - and for all of you who will be seniors.. It pays to be able to laugh about it when you are! And, speaking of senior moments: "WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?" The irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly demanded, wanting to kno...	Firefly	1	957	09:51 PM Sep 23, 2009 by suenami
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