Just Joking

Cowboy7307 · Cowboy7307

A man is in court for murder and the judge says 'You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.' Then a voice at the back of the court says, 'you bastard.' Then the judge continues, 'you are also charged With beating Your daughter to death with a hammer.' Again the voice at the back of the cou...

robell · robell

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into action.. as it gallops along at its steady and rhythmic pace, the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for t...

Cowboy7307 · Cowboy7307

Dear Jim, I left home for work last week and after less than a mile my car stalled and wouldn't start again. I walked back home to find my husband in bed with the babysitter. They finally admitted they had been having an affair for the last 6 months and that they were in love. Can you help me please, I'm reall...

robell · robell

In the line at the supermarket, the cashier told the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bag because plastic bags weren't good for the environment. The woman apologized to her and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day." The clerk responded, "That's o...

robell · robell

Love Story I will seek and find you . . I shall take you to bed and have my way with you I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan. I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop. I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you. And, when I'm finis...

oldrtvute · oldrtvute

The largest condom factory in the States burned down. President Obama was awakened at 4 am by the telephone."Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durexfactory in Washington has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire USA...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

A single glass of wine at night has been invented for Seniors . Some winemakers in th Hunter & Barossa grape areas got together to come up with a grape that is great for seniors at night Yes One glass of wine for a full uninterupted nights sleep , I kid you not , a wine for seniors . The Hunter & Baro...

robell · robell

I DID NOT THINK I WOULD GET WHAT TENJOOBERRYMUDS MEANT BUT BY THE TIME I READ THIS,I DO UNDER STAND WHAT IT MEANS..SEE IF YOU CAN TOO)! I was recently in Sydney and decided to learn Vietnamese, so I could understand the check-outs at McDonalds. My next move is to learn Indian, so I can understand my doctor...

Peterpan · Peterpan

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.' The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. Th...

D-evil-ace · D-evil-ace

A group of tough looking bikers were out riding one day when they came across a girl about to jump off a bridge. They stopped & the lead biker, a big burly bloke got off his bike, strolled over to the girl & asked her what she was doing. "I'm going to commit suicide so don't come any closer&quo...

sucastja · sucastja

A fifty-ish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look?, What's the matter with you?" The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care, I just came fr...

sucastja · sucastja

THE SENSITIVITY OF SENIORS. This letter was sent to the Lions Bay School Principal's office in West Vancouver after the school had sponsored a luncheon for seniors. An elderly gentleman received a new radio at the lunch as a door raffle prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to al...

jules47 · jules47

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy > day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her > husband's car pull into the driveway. > > > 'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's > home early!' &...

jules47 · jules47

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827". Then he realizes t...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

I'm going to get bashed this time Scientists have Finally found out what is Wrong with th Female Brain On th left side there is nothing right On th right side there is nothing left Richo

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. When an old Grandpa walked by. And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, "We bet we can tell exactly how old you are." The old man said, "There is no way you can guess it, you old fools." One o...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

Our birthdays run in quick succession . Last week it was my sons birthday , I got him an iPod The other day it was my daughters birthday , I got her an iPhone , she hasn't been off it . Over the weekend it was my birthday , th family got me an iPad Today it is my wifes birthday , I got her an iRon That's when i...

ozi2 · ozi2

Mohammed the Pakistani was in Oz for a few months when he became very ill. He visited Dr after Dr but none could help him. Finally, he went to an arab Dr who said: take this bucket, go into the other room, crap into the bucket, pee on it and then put your head down over the bucket for 10 mins and breathe in the fu...

sucastja · sucastja

LOG ON: Adding wood to the campfire. LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the campfire. MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the campfire. DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the Ute. HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies. KEYBOARD: Where you hang the Ute keys. WINDOW: What you shut when t...

Peterpan · Peterpan

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 Feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash....

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	You are charged with beating your wife to death (Preview) A man is in court for murder and the judge says 'You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.' Then a voice at the back of the court says, 'you bastard.' Then the judge continues, 'you are also charged With beating Your daughter to death with a hammer.' Again the voice at the back of the cou...	Cowboy7307	0	895	07:34 PM Jul 21, 2011 by Cowboy7307
	Blonde Cowgirl (Preview) A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into action.. as it gallops along at its steady and rhythmic pace, the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for t...	robell	0	751	07:20 PM Jul 19, 2011 by robell
	can men be agony aunts??? (Preview) Dear Jim, I left home for work last week and after less than a mile my car stalled and wouldn't start again. I walked back home to find my husband in bed with the babysitter. They finally admitted they had been having an affair for the last 6 months and that they were in love. Can you help me please, I'm reall...	Cowboy7307	0	575	06:00 AM Jul 19, 2011 by Cowboy7307
	greenies (Preview) In the line at the supermarket, the cashier told the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bag because plastic bags weren't good for the environment. The woman apologized to her and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day." The clerk responded, "That's o...	robell	0	841	10:01 PM Jul 18, 2011 by robell
	love story (Preview) Love Story I will seek and find you . . I shall take you to bed and have my way with you I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan. I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop. I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you. And, when I'm finis...	robell	0	784	09:26 PM Jul 18, 2011 by robell
	MADE IN ENGLAND - SIZE: SMALL (Preview) The largest condom factory in the States burned down. President Obama was awakened at 4 am by the telephone."Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durexfactory in Washington has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire USA...	oldrtvute	1	730	09:14 PM Jul 18, 2011 by Romy5152
	At last (Preview) A single glass of wine at night has been invented for Seniors . Some winemakers in th Hunter & Barossa grape areas got together to come up with a grape that is great for seniors at night Yes One glass of wine for a full uninterupted nights sleep , I kid you not , a wine for seniors . The Hunter & Baro...	Zoomtopz	1	967	06:13 PM Jul 15, 2011 by jules47
	Tenjooberrymuds (Preview) I DID NOT THINK I WOULD GET WHAT TENJOOBERRYMUDS MEANT BUT BY THE TIME I READ THIS,I DO UNDER STAND WHAT IT MEANS..SEE IF YOU CAN TOO)! I was recently in Sydney and decided to learn Vietnamese, so I could understand the check-outs at McDonalds. My next move is to learn Indian, so I can understand my doctor...	robell	2	1128	06:12 PM Jul 15, 2011 by jules47
	Alien (Preview) Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.' The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. Th...	Peterpan	0	870	12:08 AM Jul 14, 2011 by Peterpan
	Suicide (Preview) A group of tough looking bikers were out riding one day when they came across a girl about to jump off a bridge. They stopped & the lead biker, a big burly bloke got off his bike, strolled over to the girl & asked her what she was doing. "I'm going to commit suicide so don't come any closer&quo...	D-evil-ace	0	851	04:08 PM Jul 13, 2011 by D-evil-ace
	He should have seen it coming . . . (Preview) A fifty-ish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look?, What's the matter with you?" The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care, I just came fr...	sucastja	0	667	07:48 AM Jul 13, 2011 by sucastja
	The Sensitivity of Seniors (Preview) THE SENSITIVITY OF SENIORS. This letter was sent to the Lions Bay School Principal's office in West Vancouver after the school had sponsored a luncheon for seniors. An elderly gentleman received a new radio at the lunch as a door raffle prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to al...	sucastja	0	736	07:44 AM Jul 13, 2011 by sucastja
	Nude Runner (Preview) A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy > day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her > husband's car pull into the driveway. > > > 'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's > home early!' &...	jules47	0	1290	10:04 PM Jul 12, 2011 by jules47
	Beethoven (Preview) A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827". Then he realizes t...	jules47	4	971	09:53 PM Jul 12, 2011 by jules47
	Right & left or left & right (Preview) I'm going to get bashed this time Scientists have Finally found out what is Wrong with th Female Brain On th left side there is nothing right On th right side there is nothing left Richo	Zoomtopz	0	617	09:30 PM Jul 12, 2011 by Zoomtopz
	Alzheimers (Preview) Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. When an old Grandpa walked by. And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, "We bet we can tell exactly how old you are." The old man said, "There is no way you can guess it, you old fools." One o...	Wombat 280	0	684	07:40 PM Jul 12, 2011 by Wombat 280
	How it started (Preview) Our birthdays run in quick succession . Last week it was my sons birthday , I got him an iPod The other day it was my daughters birthday , I got her an iPhone , she hasn't been off it . Over the weekend it was my birthday , th family got me an iPad Today it is my wifes birthday , I got her an iRon That's when i...	Zoomtopz	1	589	05:53 PM Jul 12, 2011 by jimbo
	holistic medicine (Preview) Mohammed the Pakistani was in Oz for a few months when he became very ill. He visited Dr after Dr but none could help him. Finally, he went to an arab Dr who said: take this bucket, go into the other room, crap into the bucket, pee on it and then put your head down over the bucket for 10 mins and breathe in the fu...	ozi2	1	765	04:11 PM Jul 12, 2011 by jimbo
	A bit of Aussie Culture (Preview) LOG ON: Adding wood to the campfire. LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the campfire. MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the campfire. DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the Ute. HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies. KEYBOARD: Where you hang the Ute keys. WINDOW: What you shut when t...	sucastja	3	1151	05:51 PM Jul 10, 2011 by jules47
	The Funeral (Preview) A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 Feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash....	Peterpan	1	669	05:16 PM Jul 7, 2011 by jules47
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