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GOOD NEWS BAD NEWS
(Preview)
God said to Adam, "I've got some good news and some bad news. First the good news. I have given you a brain and a penis. The bad news... I've only given you enough blood to work one of them at a time!"
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goinsoon
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2
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947
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Watch Your Language
(Preview)
A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train set in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, 'All of You b*****ds who want off, get off now, 'cos we're in a hurry! And all of you b*****ds who are getting on, get on now,...
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Firefly
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2
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907
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New Book On How To Understand Women!
(Preview)
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Firefly
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2
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868
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CAREFUL WHAT YOU TELL KIDS
(Preview)
Two parents take their son on vacation and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes to play in the water. Shortly thereafter, the boy runs to his mother and says, "Mommy, I saw some ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!" The mother cleverly replies, &quo...
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goinsoon
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0
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892
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Some mornings...
(Preview)
I thought you all might get a giggle out of this.
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Beth54
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2
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1014
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Three Rotten Old Grandmas
(Preview)
Three rotten old Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home when a Grandpa walked by. And one of the Grandmas yelled out saying, "We bet we can tell exactly how old you are." The old man said, "There is no way you can guess it, you old fools." One of the old Grandmas said,...
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jimricho
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3
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934
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Golf Panties
(Preview)
The Swede's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. 'Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivvies?', Ole demanded. 'Well' she said, 'you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.' The Swe...
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Firefly
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0
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1052
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Dementia Quiz
(Preview)
FIRST QUESTION: YOU ARE A PARTICIPANT IN A RACE. YOU OVERTAKE THE SECOND PERSON. WHAT POSITION ARE YOU IN? ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ ANSWER: IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE FIRST, THEN YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY WRONG! IF YOU OVERTAKE THE SECOND PERSON AND YOU TAKE HIS PLACE, YOU ARE IN SECOND PLACE! TRY TO DO BETTE...
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Firefly
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6
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1170
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Different
(Preview)
1.. When you are sad ~ I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad. 2. When you are blue ~ I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
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jimbo
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0
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738
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FF new av
(Preview)
Hi FF, found your other eye and thought it needed to show a bit more flesh
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_wombat_
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15
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1132
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Grandma and Grandpa
(Preview)
Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills. The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong and very expensive." "How much?&quo...
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Firefly
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1
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976
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Nerd of the Year
(Preview)
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_wombat_
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17
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1074
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The moral of the story!
(Preview)
Get out of the car! (This is supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida) An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to screa...
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Dunmowin
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5
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1028
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The Bike
(Preview)
A Catholic Priest was about to leave His Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English, so he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."...
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jimbo
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2
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799
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An Australian Story
(Preview)
A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walkedpast, looked up and said, 'Hey Koala! What are you doing?' The koala said, 'Smoking a joint,come up and have some.' So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints. Aftera while...
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davkar
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0
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785
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GOLFING
(Preview)
A guy walks into a doctors office with a 5 iron wrapped around his neck and 2 black eyes. "What happened to you?" asked the doctor. "Well it all started when my wife and I were golfing and by accident she hit the ball into a cow field. When we went to investigate, I saw the ball in a cow's ass....
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goinsoon
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1
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679
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One-liners To Make You Smile
(Preview)
My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes or I would have been really mad. The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death. I sat on the train this morni...
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Cruising Granny
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7
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1845
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A Really Bad Joke.
(Preview)
''A piece of grey tarmac is in a bar with a piece of red tarmac,'' ''A piece of green tarmac walks in, grabs red's drink, and saunters off. Red tarmac, outraged, gets up to follow, but grey tarmac says, 'Leave it.' 'But he stole my drink!' fumes red. 'Yeah', says grey, 'but mate, believe me, you don't want...
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Firefly
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6
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1207
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DANCE
(Preview)
Why don't dogs dance Cause they have two left feet
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goinsoon
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1
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765
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Don't mess with a taxi driver
(Preview)
A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. "I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After a cigar...
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goinsoon
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1
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684
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