Just Joking

Dave83 · Dave83

I heard today that Qantas are changing their logo from the flying Kangaroo to an Emu. Apparently they though that a flightless bird was more appropriate

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW. HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ENERGEX WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. FINE, THEN THE W...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

The Knob A woman visited a plastic surgeon who told her about anew procedure called 'The Knob,' where a smallknob is placed at the top of the woman's head andcould be turned to tighten up her skin and produce theeffect of a brand new face-lift. Of course, the womanwanted 'The Knob.' Over the cour...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.' The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?' So God agreed. Then God creat...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

To Be 8 again! A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. 'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror . On the morning of her Birthday...

Fairy-Nuff · Fairy-Nuff

Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview them.On the appointed day, the inspector turned up. "Tel...

clazandaza · clazandaza

Police work must be entertaining as well as dangerous. In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 12.01 A.M. On Friday. On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (Georgia) Courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious Behaviour, public in...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A traveller through England on vacation lost his wallet and all of his identification. Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home but was stopped by the Australian Customs Agents at the airport. "May I see your identification, please?" asked the agent."I'm sorry...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A nice Jewish girl brings home her fiancé to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. He invites the fiancé to his study for schnapps. "So what are your plans?" the father asks the fiancé. "I am a Torah scholar," he replies. &quo...

Dave83 · Dave83

Cheap Holiday on Government Money

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter 'What are you doing?' She asked. 'Hunting Flies' He responded. 'Oh ! Killing any?' She asked. 'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,' he replied. Intrigued, she asked. 'How can you tell them apart?' He responded, '3 were on a beer...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A blonde was on holiday and driving through Darwin. She desperately wanted to take home a pair of genuine crocodile shoes but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude of one of the sho...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Adam and Eve A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race start?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so all mankind was made." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, "...

Ma · Ma

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too distrusti...

jimbo · jimbo

One afternoon a Scotsman was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied....

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

jimbo · jimbo

General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. Read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you have to love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. In a portion of an ABC radio interview between a female...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

CHECK YOUR SHAMPOO BOTTLES Check your shampoo bottle label. I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner. It's the shampoo I use in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body and (duh!) printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning: FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY ---...

jules47 · jules47

Oh, no, the doctor has just diagnosed me with AAADD - I was really worried, till he explained it - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder - now I know why I can't remeber things.

purpleturtle · purpleturtle

A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Qantas (Preview) I heard today that Qantas are changing their logo from the flying Kangaroo to an Emu. Apparently they though that a flightless bird was more appropriate	Dave83	0	746	05:26 PM Oct 30, 2011 by Dave83
	CAKE OR BED; (Preview) A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW. HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ENERGEX WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. FINE, THEN THE W...	justcruisin01	0	743	01:58 PM Oct 29, 2011 by justcruisin01
	THE KNOB (Preview) The Knob A woman visited a plastic surgeon who told her about anew procedure called 'The Knob,' where a smallknob is placed at the top of the woman's head andcould be turned to tighten up her skin and produce theeffect of a brand new face-lift. Of course, the womanwanted 'The Knob.' Over the cour...	justcruisin01	0	610	01:55 PM Oct 29, 2011 by justcruisin01
	LIFE; (Preview) God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.' The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?' So God agreed. Then God creat...	justcruisin01	1	1002	11:01 AM Oct 29, 2011 by Pam
	EIGHT; (Preview) To Be 8 again! A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. 'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror . On the morning of her Birthday...	justcruisin01	0	827	09:50 PM Oct 28, 2011 by justcruisin01
	Paddy McCoy (Preview) Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview them.On the appointed day, the inspector turned up. "Tel...	Fairy-Nuff	1	1000	08:52 PM Oct 28, 2011 by justcruisin01
	THE PUMPKIN (Preview) Police work must be entertaining as well as dangerous. In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 12.01 A.M. On Friday. On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (Georgia) Courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious Behaviour, public in...	clazandaza	0	769	08:58 AM Oct 28, 2011 by clazandaza
	PASS PORT; (Preview) A traveller through England on vacation lost his wallet and all of his identification. Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home but was stopped by the Australian Customs Agents at the airport. "May I see your identification, please?" asked the agent."I'm sorry...	justcruisin01	0	809	10:24 PM Oct 27, 2011 by justcruisin01
	THE PROVIDER; (Preview) A nice Jewish girl brings home her fiancé to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. He invites the fiancé to his study for schnapps. "So what are your plans?" the father asks the fiancé. "I am a Torah scholar," he replies. &quo...	justcruisin01	0	671	10:22 PM Oct 27, 2011 by justcruisin01
	What does CHOGM stand for? (Preview) Cheap Holiday on Government Money	Dave83	1	937	10:43 AM Oct 27, 2011 by Pam
	HOW TO ID FLIES; (Preview) A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter 'What are you doing?' She asked. 'Hunting Flies' He responded. 'Oh ! Killing any?' She asked. 'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,' he replied. Intrigued, she asked. 'How can you tell them apart?' He responded, '3 were on a beer...	justcruisin01	0	701	10:10 PM Oct 26, 2011 by justcruisin01
	CROC SHOES; (Preview) A blonde was on holiday and driving through Darwin. She desperately wanted to take home a pair of genuine crocodile shoes but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude of one of the sho...	justcruisin01	0	864	10:07 PM Oct 26, 2011 by justcruisin01
	ADAM & EVE; (Preview) Adam and Eve A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race start?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so all mankind was made." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, "...	justcruisin01	0	701	10:05 PM Oct 26, 2011 by justcruisin01
	THEY WALK AMONG US (Preview) Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too distrusti...	Ma	0	878	11:32 AM Oct 26, 2011 by Ma
	TThe Scotsman (Preview) One afternoon a Scotsman was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied....	jimbo	1	1009	08:52 PM Oct 25, 2011 by Zoomtopz
	HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED! (Preview)	justcruisin01	0	651	08:59 PM Oct 23, 2011 by justcruisin01
	General Cosgrove (Preview) General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. Read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you have to love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. In a portion of an ABC radio interview between a female...	jimbo	3	996	07:30 AM Oct 21, 2011 by jonathan
	SHAMPOO; (Preview) CHECK YOUR SHAMPOO BOTTLES Check your shampoo bottle label. I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner. It's the shampoo I use in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body and (duh!) printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning: FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY ---...	justcruisin01	3	903	01:53 PM Oct 20, 2011 by Pam
	DIAGNOSIS (Preview) Oh, no, the doctor has just diagnosed me with AAADD - I was really worried, till he explained it - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder - now I know why I can't remeber things.	jules47	1	820	06:16 PM Oct 18, 2011 by sucastja
	A Giggle (Preview) A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail.	purpleturtle	0	654	05:55 PM Oct 17, 2011 by purpleturtle
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