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Lemons
(Preview)
A man applying for a job at a Mildura lemon orchard seemed to be far too qualified for the job. The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this: Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?" He replied: "I've been divorced twice, bought a Leyland P76,...
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jimbo
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0
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945
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Trouble with computer
(Preview)
Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.I had a problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after h...
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jules47
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0
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847
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FOR THE BLOKES (mostly)
(Preview)
SHED TOOLS EXPLAINED 1. DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing coul...
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clazandaza
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1
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868
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joke othe week
(Preview)
The presenters on ch10 the circle
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Antique Pete
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3
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890
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Popcorn
(Preview)
Easy Chicken Recipe Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing -- imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try. 1 chicken 1 cup melted bu...
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jules47
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3
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1004
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warm feeling
(Preview)
A couple decided to go back to their honeymoon hotel for their 50th aniversary They stayed in the same room, in the morning the wife said Darling do you remember what we did 50 years ago today, we sat on the balcony having breakfast in the nude, lets do it again, he agrees so they strip off and start breakfa...
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Antique Pete
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2
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936
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Only on th 29 Feb
(Preview)
My gold condoms have just arived in th mail . I said to my wife . "I am going to try one tonight" She says . "Why don't you wear a silver one & come 2nd for a change"? Richo
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Zoomtopz
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2
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891
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A KISS IS JUST A KISS
(Preview)
A KISS IS JUST A KISS A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he did not want to appear insen...
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jimricho
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0
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818
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Councils
(Preview)
Working For the Council A bloke goes to the local council to apply for a job in the office. The interviewer asks him "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies "Yes, caffeine" "Have you ever worked for the public service before?" "Yes I was in the army" he s...
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jimbo
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0
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1005
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Done it all
(Preview)
i can't add anything. Richo.
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Zoomtopz
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0
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658
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Come back tomorrow
(Preview)
I was in a newsagents in Broken Hill. A big guy with a big hat asked the chap behind the counter if he had any Sunday papers. The newsagent said No sir we havent any Sunday papers The big guy raised his voice and said Why not may I ask? The newsagent said Because its Saturday sir, we wont have Sunday papers un...
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Gonadoit
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0
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841
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Sour Lemon
(Preview)
A woman applied for a job in a lemon orchard, but she seemed to be far too qualified for the job. In her application she listed her Arts and Education Degrees from Sydnay University, and her jobs as a social Worker and School Teacher. The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this, but have you...
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Ole_Grizzly
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1
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979
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VANTRILOQUIST & THE BLONDE
(Preview)
THE VENTRILOQUIST & THE BLONDE A young ventriloquist is touring Essex and, one night, he's doing a show in a small town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I'v...
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justcruisin01
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1
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1103
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IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION FOR MEN AND WOMEN
(Preview)
IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION FOR MEN AND WOMEN Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon. Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natur...
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rtv47
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0
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708
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Completely Finished
(Preview)
COMPLETELY FINISHED
No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the
two words 'complete' and 'finished' in a way that's so easy to understand:
Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED but,
there is an explanation, as told by a Newfo...
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sucastja
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1
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1094
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Dinosaurs.....
(Preview)
If all the dinosaurs had had a wide vocabulary, maybe they would have survived....like the Thesaurus
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rockylizard
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1
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910
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GRANDMA;
(Preview)
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. "Breast-fed." she replied.. &...
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justcruisin01
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0
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825
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VANTRILOQUIST;
(Preview)
An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a localsitting on his veranda patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi......'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?' Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.' Ventriloquis...
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justcruisin01
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0
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752
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GET YOUR OWN BACK
(Preview)
You know how irritating mobile phone users are when they fail to exercise discretion and think the world needs to know their business? When you have enjoyed as much as you can stand you can now get you own back!!! enjoy!!! After a busy day he settled down in his train from Waterloo for a nap as far as his de...
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justcruisin01
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2
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891
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This made me smile, so I should share it with you....
(Preview)
4 old mischievous Grandmas were sitting at a table in a nursing home. About then an old Grandpa walked in,One of the old Grandma's yelled out saying,'We bet we can tell exactly how old you are The old man said,'There ain't no way you can guess it, you old fools.' One of the old Grandmas said,'Sure we can! J...
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BobnBev
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0
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831
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