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Sleeping with John.........With age comes wisdom
(Preview)
SLEEPING WITH JOHN The guys were on a bike tour. No one wanted to room with John, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first guy slept with John and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and h...
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hammer
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647
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DOLLY VERSES ELIZABETH;
(Preview)
The Queen & Dolly Go To Heaven! Queen ElizabethandDolly Partondie on the same day and they both gobefore an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day,so the Angel must decide which of themgets in.The Angel asks Dolly if there's some...
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justcruisin01
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2
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954
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A worth while bet;
(Preview)
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money... She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always r...
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justcruisin01
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2
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762
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It was a dark and stormy night. . . . .
(Preview)
Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, are vacationing in Europe, near Transylvania. They drive in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It is late, raining very hard and Bob can barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control. Bob attempts to control it, but to no avail....
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BohemianGypsy
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2
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1430
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Every now and then a classic turns up
(Preview)
My wife was screaming at me: "Leave!! Get out of this house!" she ordered. As I was walking out the door she yelled, "I hope you die a slow and painful death!" So I turned around and replied "So now you want me to stay?"
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hammer
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616
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No one believes seniors . . . Everyone thinks they are senile.
(Preview)
An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighbourhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk theyd shar...
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hammer
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808
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The Pope and the rugby fan
(Preview)
The Pope was cruising along the beach in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just off-shore. A helpless man, wearing an English rugby jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25 foot shark. As the Pope watched in horror, a speedboat pulled up with two men we...
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Grahame Readwin
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958
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... another musical!
(Preview)
Everyone knows about Al Capone and John Dillinger, but a lesser known gangster of American folklore was the 'Lizzard'. He got this name through an unfortunate childhood accident which resulted in him having a split lip.At the time of J Edgar Hoovers FBI purge against public enemies the G men were luc...
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Grahame Readwin
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721
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Sensitive;
(Preview)
Sensitive Australian Males Three Aussie blokes working up on an outback mobile phone tower: Mongrel, Coot and Bluey. As they start their descent, Coot slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes his body away, Bluey says, 'Well, bugger me, someone's gotta go and tell...
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justcruisin01
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0
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842
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The Restaurant ;
(Preview)
A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt came to his table and asked if he was ready to order, "What would you like, sir?" He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom,...
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justcruisin01
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762
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The Scottish;
(Preview)
A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently. Then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin'... perhaps it's aboot time fo...
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justcruisin01
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689
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... another terrible musical joke
(Preview)
Two carpenters, Sam Plank, and Harry Nail, set up in business together, sadly Harry Nail died and went to heaven. While he was up in heaven, Harry Nail won the lottery, and got the privelege to spend 24 hours of absolute freedom. Harry chose to use his 24 hours visiting his lifelong buddy, Sam Plank. Sam...
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Grahame Readwin
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1
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924
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Mozart
(Preview)
When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave a...
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Grahame Readwin
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0
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757
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Priceless!!
(Preview)
This one is priceless.A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards. The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father..' The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that..' The...
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Hoodathunkit
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2
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876
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Jewish Taxi Driver
(Preview)
Jewish Taxi Driver A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City . The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab . The woman glared back at him and said, "What's wrong with you, honey? - Haven'...
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Roving-Dutchy
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0
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1080
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Parking
(Preview)
On a bitterly cold winters morning a husband and wife in Dublin were listening to the radio during breakfast.They heard the announcer Say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the Snowplows can get through..."S...
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sucastja
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2
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1122
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The Three Bears - true version
(Preview)
The Three Bears -- True version...... Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table.. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty. 'Who...
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sucastja
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1
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861
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technology
(Preview)
I was visiting my son last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century" he said. 'We don't waste money on newspapers, Here, you can borrow my iPad" I can tell you, that bloody fly never knew what hit it.....
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sucastja
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1
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1141
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Nudes
(Preview)
There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman.They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a hund...
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BohemianGypsy
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1
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1363
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DEFECTIVE PARROT;
(Preview)
The Defective Parrot. A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?' The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.' 'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actu...
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justcruisin01
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1144
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