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Chess
(Preview)
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, &q...
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rockylizard
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0
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714
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Irish!
(Preview)
Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days. A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Guinness?" The shop assistant asks, "Are you Irish?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something, if I had asked for Itali...
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jimbo
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2
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885
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DRIVING REACTION TEST...
(Preview)
I know all of you are very good drivers, so here is a fun test to see how good your speed is! The automobile driving manual says the average driver's reaction time is 0.75 seconds or 1 car length for every 10 mph. Test your average reaction time. Be careful, this can be addictive! You will be surprised at...
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Big Gorilla
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5
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1054
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The Blonde at the Pearly Gates
(Preview)
A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.'I'm sorry, 'St Peter said; 'but Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.''That's...
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Plendo
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0
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912
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Pet crab ?
(Preview)
nearly in trouble ?? Went down to the backbeach on saturday, caught a Big Mudcrab along came the Fishery inspectors, asked if i had a license to collect Mudcrabs ?? I said no ! He said well i will have to give you a Fine??? I said Mate ! you have got it all wrong ? This is My Pet Mudcrab, and i bring it down here ev...
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dazren
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2
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902
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Looking back at 2012
(Preview)
To commemorate the release of the topless photos of Kate Middleton,Royal Doulton will be releasing a collector's edition of two small jugs Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40 A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovere...
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spida
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0
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586
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Crematorium
(Preview)
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rockylizard
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0
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668
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Pig
(Preview)
A farmer and his pig were driving down the road when a cop pulled him over. The cop asked the farmer, "Didn't you know it is against the law to ride with a pig in the front of you truck?" The farmer replied, "No, I didn't know that." The cop ask the farmer where he was going and he said, &...
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rockylizard
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1
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849
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The biter bit.......
(Preview)
The priest was showing the Rabbi round the church when they came to the confessional. "What goes on in here then Father?" Asks the Rabbi. "This Rabbi, is probably the one of the most important facets of the Catholic faith". As he speaks the door opens on the other side and someone...
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Magnarc
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0
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931
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A WOMAN'S POEM;
(Preview)
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justcruisin01
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0
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607
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BLOOD DONOR;
(Preview)
n Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his type of blood in case the need arose. As the gentleman had a very rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so the call went out. Finally, a Scotsman was located who had thesame blo...
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justcruisin01
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0
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602
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Aldi Doctor.
(Preview)
Who thinks their doctor charges too much? Try the Aldi Doctor. One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagno...
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gerard gue
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0
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775
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Mother-in-.law..
(Preview)
Joseph returns from his trip in the morning and slips into his bed. His wife sleeps, her head under the covers. >> feeling the heat in his body, he wildly make love, and then starved, he went down to breakfast. To his amazement, he discovered his wife sitting at the table in the kitchen. >...
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gerard gue
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0
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624
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Essential 21st Century Item
(Preview)
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tcp99
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0
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638
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Seems OK to Me
(Preview)
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tcp99
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0
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790
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Guess she didn't do her homework
(Preview)
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tcp99
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0
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692
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Cold Morning
(Preview)
On a cold winter morning, Woman texts her husband .."Windows frozen".... Husband texts... "pour warm water on them" Wife texts back..." Computer really screwed now" !!
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rockylizard
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0
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606
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QANTAS HAS THE ANSWERS;
(Preview)
- Clever Flight Attendant A mother and her 5-year-old son were flying Qantas from Sydney to Auckland. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother, wh...
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justcruisin01
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0
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607
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3 WOMEN IN MEXICO;
(Preview)
3 women in Mexico Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation.They get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to discover that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what she did the night before. The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the elect...
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justcruisin01
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0
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715
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JOB LOST;
(Preview)
Lost my job with the Samaritans I don't know why I was just sacked from my job with the Samaritans; they wouldnt talk to me about it.A guy phoned and said,"I'm Abdul Mohammed: and Im going to kill myself. Im lying on the railway track now waiting for the train to come".All I said was,"Re...
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justcruisin01
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0
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641
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