Just Joking

Gonadoit · Gonadoit

I was in a newsagents in Broken Hill. A big guy with a big hat asked the chap behind the counter if he had any Sunday papers. The newsagent said No sir we havent any Sunday papers The big guy raised his voice and said Why not may I ask? The newsagent said Because its Saturday sir, we wont have Sunday papers un...

Ole_Grizzly · Ole_Grizzly

A woman applied for a job in a lemon orchard, but she seemed to be far too qualified for the job. In her application she listed her Arts and Education Degrees from Sydnay University, and her jobs as a social Worker and School Teacher. The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this, but have you...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

THE VENTRILOQUIST & THE BLONDE A young ventriloquist is touring Essex and, one night, he's doing a show in a small town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I'v...

rtv47 · rtv47

IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION FOR MEN AND WOMEN Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon. Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natur...

sucastja · sucastja

COMPLETELY FINISHED No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words 'complete' and 'finished' in a way that's so easy to understand: Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED but, there is an explanation, as told by a Newfo...

rockylizard · rockylizard

If all the dinosaurs had had a wide vocabulary, maybe they would have survived....like the Thesaurus

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. "Breast-fed." she replied.. &...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a localsitting on his veranda patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi......'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?' Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.' Ventriloquis...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

You know how irritating mobile phone users are when they fail to exercise discretion and think the world needs to know their business? When you have enjoyed as much as you can stand you can now get you own back!!! enjoy!!! After a busy day he settled down in his train from Waterloo for a nap as far as his de...

BobnBev · BobnBev

4 old mischievous Grandmas were sitting at a table in a nursing home. About then an old Grandpa walked in,One of the old Grandma's yelled out saying,'We bet we can tell exactly how old you are The old man said,'There ain't no way you can guess it, you old fools.' One of the old Grandmas said,'Sure we can! J...

PeterS · PeterS

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn bab...

jules47 · jules47

There is a factory in Essex which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Loretta is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.The Foreman th...

Going gone · Going gone

If my body was a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull... But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close. My trac...

jules47 · jules47

Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next!' REDONE THIS LOOK FURTHER DOWN THE POSTS - SORRY -- Edited by jules47 on Wednesday 22nd of February 2012 12:37:17 AM

jules47 · jules47

Know some who would love this -

jules47 · jules47

Woohooo!!!!

jules47 · jules47

will try again -- Edited by jules47 on Wednesday 15th of February 2012 09:01:53 PM

Going gone · Going gone

The Sensitive Man The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy. She said "Ladie...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

jimbo · jimbo

An Australian Poetry Competition held in the Sydney Opera House had come down to two finalists; A) The university graduate. B) An old aboriginal man. They were given a word, and then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a short four line poem that contained the w...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Come back tomorrow (Preview) I was in a newsagents in Broken Hill. A big guy with a big hat asked the chap behind the counter if he had any Sunday papers. The newsagent said No sir we havent any Sunday papers The big guy raised his voice and said Why not may I ask? The newsagent said Because its Saturday sir, we wont have Sunday papers un...	Gonadoit	0	784	10:16 PM Feb 28, 2012 by Gonadoit
	Sour Lemon (Preview) A woman applied for a job in a lemon orchard, but she seemed to be far too qualified for the job. In her application she listed her Arts and Education Degrees from Sydnay University, and her jobs as a social Worker and School Teacher. The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this, but have you...	Ole_Grizzly	1	933	02:18 AM Feb 29, 2012 by jimbo
	VANTRILOQUIST & THE BLONDE (Preview) THE VENTRILOQUIST & THE BLONDE A young ventriloquist is touring Essex and, one night, he's doing a show in a small town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I'v...	justcruisin01	1	1050	11:55 PM Feb 28, 2012 by Gonadoit
	IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION FOR MEN AND WOMEN (Preview) IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION FOR MEN AND WOMEN Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon. Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natur...	rtv47	0	657	02:12 AM Feb 28, 2012 by rtv47
	Completely Finished (Preview) COMPLETELY FINISHED No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words 'complete' and 'finished' in a way that's so easy to understand: Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED but, there is an explanation, as told by a Newfo...	sucastja	1	1051	06:47 AM Feb 28, 2012 by Pam
	Dinosaurs..... (Preview) If all the dinosaurs had had a wide vocabulary, maybe they would have survived....like the Thesaurus	rockylizard	1	868	09:24 PM Feb 26, 2012 by Hylda&Jon
	GRANDMA; (Preview) A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. "Breast-fed." she replied.. &...	justcruisin01	0	780	12:09 AM Feb 26, 2012 by justcruisin01
	VANTRILOQUIST; (Preview) An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a localsitting on his veranda patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi......'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?' Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.' Ventriloquis...	justcruisin01	0	704	12:08 AM Feb 26, 2012 by justcruisin01
	GET YOUR OWN BACK (Preview) You know how irritating mobile phone users are when they fail to exercise discretion and think the world needs to know their business? When you have enjoyed as much as you can stand you can now get you own back!!! enjoy!!! After a busy day he settled down in his train from Waterloo for a nap as far as his de...	justcruisin01	2	851	11:42 PM Feb 25, 2012 by PeterS
	This made me smile, so I should share it with you.... (Preview) 4 old mischievous Grandmas were sitting at a table in a nursing home. About then an old Grandpa walked in,One of the old Grandma's yelled out saying,'We bet we can tell exactly how old you are The old man said,'There ain't no way you can guess it, you old fools.' One of the old Grandmas said,'Sure we can! J...	BobnBev	0	792	02:33 AM Feb 25, 2012 by BobnBev
	Retirement home (Preview) Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn bab...	PeterS	0	740	12:01 AM Feb 24, 2012 by PeterS
	Elmo (Preview) There is a factory in Essex which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Loretta is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.The Foreman th...	jules47	0	721	07:25 AM Feb 23, 2012 by jules47
	If My Body Was a Car…! (Preview) If my body was a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull... But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close. My trac...	Going gone	1	642	04:01 AM Feb 23, 2012 by Pam
	Hairdryer through Customs (Preview) Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next!' REDONE THIS LOOK FURTHER DOWN THE POSTS - SORRY -- Edited by jules47 on Wednesday 22nd of February 2012 12:37:17 AM	jules47	5	999	12:03 AM Feb 23, 2012 by jules47
	Vital fluids for life (Preview) Know some who would love this -	jules47	2	882	06:19 PM Feb 22, 2012 by JRH
	Mr Bean (Preview) Woohooo!!!!	jules47	0	743	09:22 PM Feb 21, 2012 by jules47
	Jet Ski (Preview) will try again -- Edited by jules47 on Wednesday 15th of February 2012 09:01:53 PM	jules47	19	1527	09:13 PM Feb 21, 2012 by jules47
	The Sensitive Man (Preview) *The Sensitive Man* The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy. She said "Ladie...	Going gone	2	809	07:47 PM Feb 21, 2012 by Going gone
	PLEASE EXPLAIN; (Preview)	justcruisin01	0	773	10:39 PM Feb 19, 2012 by justcruisin01
	Timbuktu (Preview) An Australian Poetry Competition held in the Sydney Opera House had come down to two finalists; A) The university graduate. B) An old aboriginal man. They were given a word, and then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a short four line poem that contained the w...	jimbo	2	1339	11:58 PM Feb 19, 2012 by sucastja
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