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Beethoven's Chicken
(Preview)
Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? It kept saying ''Bach, Bach, Bach...''
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copper1
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1
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623
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SMS codes for seniors:
(Preview)
BTW - Bring the Wheelchair FWIW - Forgot Where I Was LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out WTFA - Wet the Furniture Again
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copper1
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1
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644
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Lone Rangers Last Request
(Preview)
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger"... "In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days." "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests" "W...
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Hurls
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5
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916
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The Deaf Wife Problem
(Preview)
Bob feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea ab...
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sarg
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1
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697
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The Wheels Of Life
(Preview)
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sarg
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4
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891
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Mates
(Preview)
A Testimony to True Friendship A man brings his best mate home for dinner unannounced at 5.30 p.m. after work. His wife screams at him as his friend listens in, "My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pyjamas, and I can't be bothered with cookin...
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Hurls
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3
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671
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Bruce
(Preview)
Watch out for these 13 year olds. Little Bruce and Jenny are only 13 years old, but they know they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want t...
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Hurls
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3
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690
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Moles
(Preview)
There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to s...
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copper1
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1
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678
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Two Different Doctors
(Preview)
TWO DIFFERENT DOCTORS' OFFICES Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint?Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement. The FIRST patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following wee...
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Hurls
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0
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654
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A Retirement Story
(Preview)
One day a man decided to retire... He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After abou...
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sarg
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0
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890
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Irate Customer
(Preview)
This happened at a New York Airport. An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in New York for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. For all of you out there who have had to deal with an irate customer, this one is...
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Hurls
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0
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594
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All part of the job………and thank you for flying Qantas!!
(Preview)
A mother and her 5-year-old son were flying Qantas from Sydney to Auckland. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother, who couldn't think...
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sarg
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2
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696
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Women. Just a little tip!??
(Preview)
WOMEN A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do, to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express hi...
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Gunsondeck
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1
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640
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Hit Man
(Preview)
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up". Sure, they said, youre welcome. So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newc...
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Hurls
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1
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659
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a pilot
(Preview)
An old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight jacket and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked,Are you a real pilot? He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, first Stea...
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sarg
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2
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680
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power outage
(Preview)
We had a power outage last week and my PC, TV and games console shut down immediately,it was raining- I couldn't play golf so I talked to my wife for a few hours. She seems like a nice person.
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spida
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2
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857
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He he he
(Preview)
How do you make a pool table laugh? Put your hand down its pocket and tickle its balls!
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copper1
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1
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692
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Forest Gump
(Preview)
Q: What is Forrest Gump's Facebook password? A: 1forest1
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copper1
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1
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731
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It's a Gas Gas Gas
(Preview)
I was in the Mac Cafe yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me. Then I suddenly...
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copper1
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1
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861
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Scrabble
(Preview)
My Grandson accidentally swallowed some scrabble squares Going to the toilet could spell trouble
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copper1
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0
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514
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