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Seniors center
(Preview)
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say 'Supersex.' She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair.. Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex...' He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 'I...
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Yarra
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1
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1226
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A skeleton .....
(Preview)
.. walks into a coffee shop and orders a Flat White and a mop.
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Mobi Condo
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1
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1136
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Wedding Day
(Preview)
A couple are getting married, and the minister asks, Is there anyone who knows of any reason this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony? A beautiful young woman, with young baby at arm, stands up and walks slowly to the front of the congregation. The bride turns, glares at the bridegroom, slaps...
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rockylizard
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0
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941
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God will get ya....
(Preview)
A burglar breaks into a house in the middle of the night after ascertaining that the inhabitants are away.Cautiously, he looks around at what could be pinched, probing the darkness with his torch.Suddenly, he hears a voice, God is watching you.Alarmed, he swings the torch around trying to find who...
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aussie_paul
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0
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1010
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A Guy Walks Into A Bar With An Octopus Under His Arm
(Preview)
He sets the octopus on a stool next to him and announces: "This is an amazing octopus. I'll bet anyone in this bar $50 that this octopus can play any instrument set in front of it." None of the people could believe this, so one guy brought up a guitar. The octopus took hold of the guitar and started picking...
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Yarra
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0
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887
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POLITICS How It Works
(Preview)
SO CLEARLY EXPLAINED I told my son "I want you to marry a girl of my choice!" He said "NO!" I told him its Bill Gates daughter! He said "OKAY!" Got in contact with Bill Gates & told him "I want \your daughter to marry my son!" He said "NO!" Told him my son was the CEO of the World Bank! He said "OKAY!" Went to...
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Moorey
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2
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1010
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Wisdom Comes With The Years
(Preview)
A 72 year old man had one hobby - he loved to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.' he looked around and couldn't see anyone. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, 'Pick me up.'He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a f...
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Yarra
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0
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903
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Weeell blow me down..Olive..!
(Preview)
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goldfinger
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0
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897
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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson
(Preview)
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson both retired from crime solving and decided to spend a few years touring the English countryside. Shortly into their trip at the end of one day they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. Holmes said: Watso...
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gumpybsc
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0
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840
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Soooo,...is this what I have to look forward to?.....?
(Preview)
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goldfinger
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1
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968
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Do Your Homework
(Preview)
The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, 'Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?' No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, 'You should not be asking sixth graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and te...
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Moorey
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0
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961
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little johnny again
(Preview)
Donald Trump was visiting a primary school in Orlando and visited a grade four class. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked Mr.Trump if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy.' So our illustrious Republican candidate ask...
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Woody2
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0
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899
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Positive. Attitude
(Preview)
Late in the night, he finally regained consciousness. He was in the hospital, in terrible pain. He found himself in the ICU with tubes in his nose, needles and IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function, and a nurse hovering over him. He realized that he was obvious...
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Woody2
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0
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857
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Perhaps An Oldie...Difference between CRAZY and STUPID...
(Preview)
A truck driver was doing his usual delivery to Mental Hospital. He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to return home. He jacked up his truck and took the flat tyre down. When he was about to place the spare tyre on he disturbed his locking nuts which rolled into the adjacent drain. As there was a fixe...
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goldfinger
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0
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781
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Retirement bonus
(Preview)
The Marines found they had too> many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus.>>> They promised any officer who volunteered> for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in> a straight line between any two points in his body.>>> The of...
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Woody2
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0
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895
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How a child's mine works
(Preview)
Until a child tells you what they are thinking, we can't even begin to imagine how their mind is working.... Little Zachary was doing very badly in maths. His parents had tried everything...tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centres. In short, everything they could thi...
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Woody2
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0
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710
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oh Dear
(Preview)
One day, Jill's husband came home from the office and found her sobbing convulsively. "I feel terrible," she told him. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers." "Forget it," consoled her husband. "Remember that I bought an extra pair of trousers for that suit." "Ye...
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Yendorane
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0
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866
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Something different from me...a clean story..Father O'Malley
(Preview)
Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine Spring day in his new Parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.. He then noticed there was.........a donkey lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local Police S...
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goldfinger
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1
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1003
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Modern Nursery Rhymes
(Preview)
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rockylizard
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1
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1108
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This receptionist is no match for an old guy
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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863
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