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Replace it
(Preview)
A woman heard a knock at her door and went to answer it. She opened the door to a distraught man standing on her porch. He said to her, Im terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat and I feel so bad about it I would really like to replace it for you. The woman sighed and shook her head before replying, Well thats a...
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Possum3
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0
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698
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Who?
(Preview)
A guy walked into a Bar, waving an un-holstered pistol. He yelled "Ï have a 45 calibre, Colt 1911, with a seven round magazine and one in the chamber" "I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife" A voice from the back of the room called out, "You're going to need more ammo"
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Possum3
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1
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897
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Hot and Cold after sex
(Preview)
After an examination, the doctor said to his elderly patient: 'You appear to be in good health.. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?' 'In fact, I do.' said the old man. "After my wife and I have sex, I'm usually cold and chilly; and then, after I have sex with her the second time,...
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Paintar
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3
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878
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How Considerate!....a Parking Spot next to Supermarket Entrance...
(Preview)
How considerate for us 'Corpulent Folk'.....Hoo Roo
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Goldfinger
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1
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751
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What's for lunch?
(Preview)
Three construction workers were on the 75th floor of an unfinished building. The Italian opened his lunch box to find a pizza and said, Man, if I get pizza one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death! The Australian opened his lunch box to find a meat pie and said, Man, if I get a mea...
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Possum3
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0
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1524
|
|
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Cuckoo.
(Preview)
A man goes out drinking with his friends after promising his wife that hed be home by midnight. Midnight comes and goes. He finally arrives home just before 3am. As he walks in, he realises the cuckoo clock is about to go off. With a flash of genius, he decides to coo another nine times to make it seem like i...
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Possum3
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0
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1182
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|
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Location??
(Preview)
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Aus-Kiwi
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0
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1003
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24 hours to live.
(Preview)
Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live. Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex. Naturally,she agrees, so they make love. About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, 'Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours t...
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Yendorane
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0
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1146
|
|
|
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Maaaate she’ll be right !!
(Preview)
Trust me I have done this before.,
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Aus-Kiwi
|
0
|
951
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Bugger...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
|
5
|
1783
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|
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Blonde, again.
(Preview)
A blonde woman was speeding down the road on her way to visit a friend for a holiday. She was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively agitated. "What does it look like?" sh...
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Possum3
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0
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1462
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|
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Present from UK
(Preview)
A woman goes to England to attend a two week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and tells her to have a good trip. "Thanks honey, what would you like me to bring for you?" the woman asks. The husband laughs and says: "An English girl!" The woman keeps quiet and leaves for the t...
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Possum3
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0
|
1381
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In sync.
(Preview)
A husband and wife were in marriage counselling. The counsellor looked at them both and said softly, It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other. He addressed the husband, Can you describe your wifes favourite flower? The husband leaned over, touched his...
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Possum3
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0
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1450
|
|
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Last picture of live cat
(Preview)
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Paintar
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0
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1256
|
|
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Reincarnation..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
|
0
|
1378
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|
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Confession.
(Preview)
A newly ordained priest, nervous about hearing confessions, finally asks an older priest to observe how he does and give some tips. After listening in on the second confession, the older priest suggested that the younger man fold his arms, maybe rub his chin with one hand while saying phrases like I s...
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Possum3
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0
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1153
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|
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The most powerful liquid
(Preview)
A little boy was sitting on the footpath with a bottle of Turpentine. He was shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy said "This is the most powerful liquid in the world; it's called Turpentine". The Priest said "No, the most power...
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fwdoz
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1
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1232
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Polish Remover
(Preview)
A polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into the lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on circumstances, and a...
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Stretch60
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1
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1089
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David Thorne 2: The Snow Gloves
(Preview)
In this one, David gets some crap service for a faulty product, so he creates a phantom advertisement. Read on with amusement! From: anton@function4sports.com Date: Thursday 20 January 2011 11.14am To: David Thorne Subject: Advertisement I received the attached advertisement from a friend...
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fwdoz
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3
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1210
|
|
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seniors text codes
(Preview)
Young people have theirs, now WE Seniors have our own texting codes: * ATD- At the Doctor's * BFF - Best Friends Funeral * BTW- Bring the Wheelchair * BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth * CBM- Covered by Medicare * SUATSC- See You at the Senior Citizens * DWI- Driving While Incontinent * FWIW - Forgot Where I Was * G...
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fwdoz
|
1
|
985
|
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