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Stolen.
(Preview)
An elderly woman with some memory problems called emergency services to report that her car had been broken into. She was hysterical when she explained her situation to the dispatcher. Theyve stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator, she said frantically. Th...
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Possum3
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0
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734
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What is her favourite?
(Preview)
The wife shouted at me the other day: "We never talk, we live like strangers in the same house. All you do is watch your stupid rugby on TV and drink your damn beer! You show absolutely zero interest in me!" I said "That's not true honey, I know you well, I love you!" Rather unexpectedly (and regrettably fo...
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fwdoz
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0
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775
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Visit to the Doctor
(Preview)
A man goes to his doctors and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say "Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?" "Oh, that's not a problem for us men anymore!" announces a proud physician "They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the tri...
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fwdoz
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0
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676
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Pearly gate problem...
(Preview)
40 Aboriginals arrive at the Pearly Gates St Peter goes into the gatehouse and phones up God, saying. 'I've got 40 Aboriginals here. Can I let them in?' God says 'We are over the quota on Abos. Go out and tell them to choose Between them which are the 12 most worthy, And I will let just the dozen in.' ...
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aussie_paul
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3
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821
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Motorcycle gangs..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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729
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AFL explained
(Preview)
Australian Rules Football.Take a field and place four goalposts each end, two long ones in the centre and two shorter ones outside as the players who throw or kick the ball can be somewhat challenged when it comes to accuracy and to save their egos get a lesser score for a near miss.There are 18 players o...
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Pete49
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6
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874
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3 Astronauts
(Preview)
NASA decided to send three astronauts to space for three years. The astronauts were not allowed back to earth for the entire three years but they were all allowed to take 95 kilograms of baggage each. The first astronaut decided to take his wife, the second decided to take along books to learn how to spe...
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Possum3
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1
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779
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Eggs????
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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966
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Old vs New.
(Preview)
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight, so that it wouldn't blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this wind?" "Yes I know," replied the woman. "I need bo...
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Possum3
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0
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931
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Thoughtful
(Preview)
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the men is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says, Wow, that is the m...
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Possum3
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0
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628
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The Skunk
(Preview)
Dont read on if you are easily offended We have bought this pet skunk. The wife and I took it for walks every day. One day we came to this bar which had a big sign saying "No pets allowed" she turned to me and said. "What shall we do about the pet skunk? "I replied "Shove it down your panties, no one will know. "...
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fwdoz
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2
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801
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Always Mother.
(Preview)
A woman calls her Mother in Law and asks, "Could you tell me, If a child poops itself, Who changes the child?' The Mother in law replys. It's the mum, it's always the mother Honey. "Good replies the woman". "Then would you please come over, your Son got drunk and Sh!t himself?"
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Possum3
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0
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782
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Blonde time
(Preview)
A Blonde and a Brunette were discussing past lovers. The brunette said Ď slept with a Brazilian, last year. The blond retorted "You slut!" "How many is a Brazilian anyway?"
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Possum3
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0
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672
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The history of the entire world in one photo...xxxx rated.
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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6
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1191
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Sign language
(Preview)
A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. The man realizes that he cant find the rake. He yells up to his wife, Where is the rake? She cant hear him and shouts back, What? The man first points to his eye, then points to his knee and finally makes a raking motion. The wife is not sure what he m...
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Possum3
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1
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914
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Rabbit.
(Preview)
A man was driving along a highway while on holiday when he saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately it jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road a...
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Possum3
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1
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960
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The face you make...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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779
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Collingwood - important info
(Preview)
Important information for all Collingwood supporters going to the game next sat; dole payments will be available as cash advances outside gates 4,7 and 8. A temporary parole office will be set up near gate 3. An amnesty will be available for stolen vehicles that can be left in the carpark after the...
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villatranquilla
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2
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924
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Mugged...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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821
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The Warrnambool Wombat
(Preview)
I was late in adding this to another posting recently & was thinking that it may have moved on before being seen by the general membership. I have a warped sense of humour & it seemed one of the characters (Phil) did too! On the first view it appeared there "really" was a hole in the railway br...
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Warren-Pat_01
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0
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746
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