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SCOTTISH COMPASSION
(Preview)
A man is sitting on a blanket at the beach. He has no arms and no legs. Three women, from England, Wales, and Scotland, Walk past and felt sorry for the poor man. The English woman said "Have you ever had a hug?" The man said "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on. The Welsh woman said, "Have you ever had a...
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Paintar
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0
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1279
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The Lawyer.
(Preview)
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to...
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Possum3
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0
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1134
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I haven't.
(Preview)
A woman takes her teenage daughter to the doctors. The doctor says: Okay, Maam, whats the problem? The mother answers: Its my daughter. She keeps getting these cravings, shes putting on weight and she is sick most mornings. The doctor gives the girl a good examination, then turns to the mother and say...
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Possum3
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0
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1251
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Optimist.
(Preview)
Frank always looked on the bright side and would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply: It could have been worse. To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so bad and terrible, that...
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Possum3
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0
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1399
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What?
(Preview)
Two men walk into a restaurant and sit down. A very beautiful waitress comes to their table to serve them. The first man orders, then the woman looks to the second man. And what would you like? she asks. The man smiles at the server and answers: A quickie. The waitress screws up her face in total disgust. W...
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Possum3
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0
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1434
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Low Fat Milk
(Preview)
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Hurls
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0
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1345
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That's my boy.
(Preview)
Little Johnny and his friend argued about whose grandpa was better. My grandpa doesnt need a walking stick, Little Johnny boasted. Yeah well my grandpa can still drive, his friend replied. Oh yeah? Little Johnny said as he puffed out his chest. Well, my grandpa doesnt even use glasses! His friend sho...
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Possum3
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0
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1284
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Little Johnny
(Preview)
Little Johnny walked into class. His teacher held out her hand and asked sternly, Wheres your homework? My dog ate it, Little Johnny answered seriously. The teacher crossed her arms and said, Johnny, Ive been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that? Its true, Miss, I swea...
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Possum3
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0
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1413
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More funnies
(Preview)
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Bobdown
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0
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1253
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Friday Funnies
(Preview)
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LLD
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0
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1823
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Missing Person.
(Preview)
Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home... Sergeant at Police Station: ... What is her height? Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall. Sergeant: Weight? Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat. Sergeant: Color of ey...
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Possum3
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1
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1762
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Stand up Comedian
(Preview)
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Bobdown
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0
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1308
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Understanding the lingo.
(Preview)
One of me immigrant mates is now a true blue Aussie. I saw him drinking his own urine, chasing chooks around his back yard and with his ear close to a bulls arse. ... He said he was being an Aussie like me - drinking lots of piss, chasing chicks and listening to utter bull****.
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rgren2
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0
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1276
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Negligee present.
(Preview)
An old man enters a lingerie store to purchase a transparent negligee for his wife. The saleswoman shows him several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price, the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to hi...
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Possum3
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0
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1271
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What do you recommend?
(Preview)
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Possum3
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0
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1226
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Kookaburra copied by Lyre bird
(Preview)
Kookaburra channelled by a Lyre bird. This is brilliant, well done the photographer who captured it. The lyrebird is very shy and unlikely to perform if humans are around so he/she must have had camera hidden.
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Bobdown
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0
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1617
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Who needs ladders...
(Preview)
WAIT TILL THE MEXICANS SEE THIS !!!
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Bobdown
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0
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1897
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Man's best friend.......just joking girls
(Preview)
Why Some Men have Dogs and Not Wives d 1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name. 3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor. 4. A dog's parents never visit. 5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your...
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Bobdown
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1
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1523
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Siri
(Preview)
I asked Siri what women want. She hasn't shut up for 3 days.
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rgren2
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0
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1347
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Can you teach kids to cook?
(Preview)
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Bobdown
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0
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1195
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