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Christmas Decorations.
(Preview)
Really not meant to be a grinch, but.... for those of you who put Christmas lights / decorations in your garden: would you please avoid something that blinks RED and BLUE together?!?Everytime I come around the corner I think it's the police and I'm having a f # %!*@ panic attack.I need to brake hard, thr...
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Possum3
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1
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957
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Symbol of Democracy...a bit cheeky
(Preview)
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Bobdown
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4
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1068
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Crabs.
(Preview)
One day an old lady went to the doctors because she had an itch in her crotch:She told the doctor her problem and he said."You have the crabs."She informed the doctor that it could not be the crabs because she was an eighty year old virgin.She went to another doctor and explained herproblem to him.The do...
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Possum3
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10
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1184
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Warning - sensitive subject to some.
(Preview)
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husbands habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.Every morning she would plead wit...
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Possum3
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0
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705
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Sleep Study.
(Preview)
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Possum3
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2
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1357
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Blonde, again.
(Preview)
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Possum3
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0
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943
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Blonde.
(Preview)
Three women who work in the same office notice that their female boss has started leaving work early every day, so one day they decide that after she leaves, they'll take off early, too. After all, she never calls or comes back, so how is she to know?The brunette is thrilled to get home early. She does a li...
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Possum3
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0
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746
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Don't open if easily offended
(Preview)
Bloke goes into a pub, and the barmaid asks what he wants. "I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat from between your tits" he says........"You dirty pig!" shouts the barmaid, "get out before I get my husband."The bloke apologizes and promises not to repeat his gaffe. The Barmaid acce...
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Possum3
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0
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792
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Irish.
(Preview)
Two drunk Irishmen: Paddy; If I had two million dollars Mick, I'd be g'in ya one. Mick; To be sure Paddy, ye're a genyrus fella. Paddy; If I had two houses Mick, I'd be g'in ya one. Mick; To be sure Paddy, ye're a genyrus fella. Mick; If'n ya had two Bicycles Paddy, Would ya Gi me one? Paddy; Now dat's mean of y...
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Possum3
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0
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1025
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Ginger.
(Preview)
A woman goes to her boyfriends parents house for dinner. This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost ma...
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Possum3
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1
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1449
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Covid funnies
(Preview)
As I believe that Australia has just about eliminated Covid-19 internally I pass on some funnies that were sent to me
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Tony Bev
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0
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1018
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Is Dad home?
(Preview)
A farmer got in his truck. He drove a while down the road to a neighbouring farm and knocked on the farmhouse door. A young boy, about 12 years old, opened the door.Is your dad home? the farmer asked.No sir, he isnt, the boy replied. He went to town.d the farmer. Is your mum home?No, she isnt here either. Sh...
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Possum3
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1
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1108
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CIA Induction.
(Preview)
A while back there was an opening in the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are extremely difficult to fill, requiring an extensive background check, training, and testing before candidates are even considered for the position. After reviewing several applicants and comple...
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Possum3
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1
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1329
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POLICE EMERGENCY...
(Preview)
Man calls 000 Hello Police... Man:....I need your help! Police OK Whats the problem Man: Two girls are fighting over me! Police: So what's your emergency? man: The ugly one is winning.
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Des and Jane
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0
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1094
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Jack who ?
(Preview)
An oldie but a Goldie........
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Relax-n
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0
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1094
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How it seems to me.......
(Preview)
CALLER: Is this Gordon's Pizza?GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.CALLER: I must have dialled a wrong number. Sorry.GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Gordons Pizza last month.CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?CALLER: My usual? You know me?GOOGLE: According...
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Possum3
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1
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1109
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Noah
(Preview)
In the year 2020, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Australia and said:"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:"...
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Possum3
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1
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981
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Christmas Presents
(Preview)
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Possum3
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0
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734
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I am eighty-eight years old....
(Preview)
I am eighty-eight years old and can look after myself very well and can do my own shopping. My wife can vouch for that because she sends me out to do that chore. Yesterday morning, I thought to give myself a treat, so I called in at our local Dan Murphys and bought two six packs of beer. I placed them on the fro...
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Warren-Pat_01
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2
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978
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Dead?
(Preview)
An old man was walking through the French countryside, admiring the beautiful spring day,when over a hedgerow he spotted a young couple making love in a field:Getting over his initial shock he said to himself. "Ah,young love, ze spring time, ze air, ze flowers. Cest magnifique!" And he continued to...
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Possum3
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4
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935
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