This is an actual sign at a golf club in Scotland


 

1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT

2. FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART

3. FORM A LOOSE GRIP

4. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!

5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.

6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.

7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG.  ALLOW OTHERS AHEAD OF YOU

8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.

9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.

10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.

"WELL DONE...NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF."